Warning: get_object_vars() expects parameter 1 to be object, null given in /home/newspeak/public_html/wp-includes/taxonomy.php on line 324

March 05

March 22, 2005

March #5 supposedly up

I uploaded the files. It might be up. I’m too tired to check. You click it.

The “Great Moments In Colorado Springs History” is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

Enjoy!
Josh

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink Comments

March 22, 2005

#5 March issue up in handy PDF format

I’m scrambling to get the html version going. Until then, click the Archives link to download the PDF.

Josh

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink Comments

March 11, 2005

Our Evangelical Columnist Press Release

March 11, 2005
For Immediate Release:

THE TOILET PAPER AND NEW LIFE CHURCH PASTOR TO JOIN FORCES

The Toilet Paper ? a new Colorado Springs-based monthly tabloid of dubious moral value ? is pleased to announce that Rob Brendle, Associate Pastor at New Life Church, has agreed to be the TP?s new evangelical columnist!

Beginning in April 2005, Pastor Rob Brendle will field questions about evangelical Christianity from a wide range of thinkers TBD about issues such as homosexuality, abortion/choice, church politics, the nature of the Bible, etc.

Founded by Noel Black ? former Arts & Entertainment Editor at the Colorado Springs Independent ? in October 2004, The Toilet Paper features regular columns and features such as Church Kicker, Grandma?s Good Old-Fashioned Sex Advice (featuring Editor Noel Black?s real-life grandmother), From the Mouth of Hell (by Richard Hell of the legendary punk band Richard Hell and the Voidoids), Eyewitness Flava (by Colorado cult-celebrity Brian Nemeth), and many more. The Toilet Paper has a circulation of 5000 papers at over 100 location throughout Colorado Springs, Denver and Pueblo (see distribution list below).

In December, 2004, Black put a call out for an evangelical columnist in the third issue of The Toilet Paper because he believes Colorado Springs ? home of Focus on the Family, New Life Church and many other evangelical organizations ? is at the epicenter of the new moral values culture. Black also felt that the local media was failing to address the ideological divide that separates the progressive community in Colorado Springs from the moral values conservatives.

Both Black and Pastor Brendle have both agreed that no punches will be pulled where disagreements over theology and politics are concerned, though both aim to keep the dialogue (which will take place via email) ?fair.?

To see the online version of The Toilet Paper, including back issues (Issue #5 available online during the week of March 14), go to www.toiletpaperonline.com.

Media Contacts:
TP Editor Noel Black: editor@toiletpaperonline.com, 321-3990
Pastor Rob Brendle: RBrendle@NewLifeChurch.org

(Please let us know if you’d like us to send print copies of the paper)

Our growing list of where to find The Toilet Paper each month:

You can always find us online at www.toiletpaperonline.com
Home delivery subscriptions are available for $25 per year by emailing subscriptions@toiletpaperonline.com or sending a check to The Toilet Paper, P.O. Box 60144, Colorado Springs, CO 80960

Downtown:
15C
The Book Broker
Belle Starr Restaurant at the City Auditorium
Benny?s
Boulder Street Coffee Roasters
Brian?s Bicycle Repair
Coffee Zone
Colorado College
Depot Arts District
Hathaway?s
Heebee Jeebee?s
The Holey Rollers
Independent Records
Josh & John?s
Kimball?s
The Leechpit
Mediterranean Caf?
Music Exchange
Pikes Peak Community College (downtown campus)
Pikes Perk
Poor Richard?s
Premier Tattoo
Rainy Days Screen Printing & Graphic Art
Ross Auction
Sencha
Sportique Scooters
State of Mind
Taste of India Express
Tony?s
Toons
The Underground
V Bar
Zzing

South Downtown:
Coffee Warehouse
King?s Chef
Shuga?s
The Wayfarer

South:
Pikes Peak Community College
Independent Records in Security

Westside:
Art With a Pulse
Barracuda Bazaar
The Bookman
Earthpig Music
Independent Records (30th & Colorado)
Mountain Mama
Pikes Perk
The Revolution

Manitou:
Blondie?s
Business of Art Center
Seth?s
Spice of Life (Manitou)
The Ancient Mariner
The Hemp Shop (Manitou)
The Keg

North
Navajo Hogan
Murphy?s Tavern
Pikes Peak Community College (north campus)
UCCS

East:
Club Q
Horizon Design
Indpendent Records (on Platte)
The Liberal Store (3410 N. Carefree Circle Ste. H)
Pikes Perk

Denver:
Auraria Campus (Tivoli)
Benny’s Blancos Pizza
The Buffalo Exchange
Capitol Hill Books
Denver Ted’s Cheesesteaks
Five & Dime
Independent Records
Jerry’s Record Exchange
Paris on the Platte
Twist N Shout
Tattered Cover.
The Watercourse
Wax Trax
Wax Trax II

Pueblo:
Ambrosia Health Food
Curator?s Office at the SDC Arts Center
Indpendent Records
Revolution Records
Wired Works Coffee Shop
Warrick Photography
Zephyr?s Frame and Art

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink Comments

March 10, 2005

Marina’s Dad

don’t know Marina, and I didn’t know her Dad. But I love people she loves and that’s enough for me to say the only thing that somehow always feels apporpriate in times like these: I am sorry. Thank you, Noel, for posting it. I have a picture of Marina. I promise to send positive energy through it and hope it reaches her.

I was present in the room when our friend Phil took his last breath. After seeing him lie still for days–his breathing causing the only movements in him–I watched with a mixture of awe, reverence, and fear as he turned his head and eyes toward his wife and gasped one last time. I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT MOMENT. Writing of it now, my body is covered in goosebumps. Something happens at that moment and we will never know what it is.

LOVE.

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink Comments

March 7, 2005

New YP March 9

The March edition of The Toilet Paper will be availabe in print on March 9 at locations throughout Colorado Springs and in selected locations in Denver and Pueblo (distribution list below). The new issue will hopefully be available here online in a week.

Our growing list of where to find The Toilet Paper each month:

Downtown:

15C
32 Bleu
The Book Broker
Belle Starr Restaurant at the City Auditorium
Boulder Street Coffee Roasters
Colorado College
Depot Arts District
Hathaway?s
The Holey Rollers
Idoru
Independent Records
The Leechpit
Mediterranean Cafe
Pikes Peak Community College (downtown campus)
Poor Richard?s
Premier Tattoo
Rainy Days Screen Printing & Graphic Art
Raven?s Nest Coffee
Ross Auction
Sencha
Sportique Scooters
State of Mind
Taste of India Express
Tony?s
Toons
Zzing

South Downtown:
Shuga?s
The Coffee Warehouse

South:
Pikes Peak Community College
Independent Records in Security

Westside:
Art With a Pulse
Barracuda Bazaar
The Bookman
Earthpig Music
Heebee Jeebee?s
Mountain Mama
Independent Records (30th & Colorado)
The Revolution

Manitou:
Blondie?s
Business of Art Center
Seth?s
Spice of Life (Manitou)
The Ancient Mariner
The Hemp Shop (Manitou)
The Keg

North

Navajo Hogan
Pikes Peak Community College (north campus)
UCCS

East:

Club Q
Horizon Design
Indpendent Records (on Platte)
The Liberal Store (3410 N. Carefree Circle Ste. H)

Denver

Independent Records

Pueblo:

Indpendent Records
Ambrosia Health Food
Zephyr?s Frame and Art
Wired Works Coffee Shop
Warrick Photography
Curator?s Office at the SDC

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink Comments

March 7, 2005

Some

Nobody’s posted up on this shit for a while, so here. Since last we fucked I have been arrested by the NYPD, lost my cool job, and found out that a close friend of 16 years is really starting to lose her shit in the mental health department–and I don’t mean no government agency. I mean up in the head.

I know Critical Mass is stupid, but so is arresting people for riding bikes in a big group. Talk about fun stompers.

As for the job: long story ending with you saying “So nice guys DO finish last, after all.”

I ain’t gettin’ mo specific ’bout my sick palomino. She could be channelin’ this shit and come fuck me up.

I apologize to all of you for all of the hurtful things I have done, am doing, and will do, to you, to others, and to myself.

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink 1 Comment

March 1, 2005

Child Protective Services: Now this is fucking gossip!

I’ve debated about posting this because it came to me as gossip, but if I can shame a few people by doing so, great: Apparently a group of ninnies (we know who you are) who don’t care for me or the paper contemplated reporting me to Child Protective Services because the Great Moments in Colorado Springs History: George Bush Barfs at the Broadmoor photo piece we did featured my son as George Bush. To see the feature for yourself, just go back to www.toiletpaperonline.com and click on the “Great Moments” in the March Issue. Was it the apple juice in the Jack Daniels bottle or the pile of powdered sugar we used for cocaine? Last time I checked, it was called acting. Fuck off!

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink 1 Comment

March 1, 2005

Marina’s Dad Died Tonight

It’s about 10:11 p.m. on Weds. evening and I just got a call from my wife Marina in Florida saying that her dad died about 20 minutes ago. I always wonder in those minutes after someone dies where their life force/soul has gone as though it spilled or may already be few blocks down the street, enjoying being a ghost or something. And then there’s the thought that the person who just died now has the answer to “the death question” and can’t tell us.

I remember a dream I had after my friend Julie killed herself when we were in 7th grade. I was standing in the foyer of her house and she was standing on the staircase about halfway up. She said, “I just wanted to say goodbye. I’m really sorry,” and then turned around and walked up into the darkened upstairs. Some family in the neighborhood hired a creepy medium a few years later and we asked her where Julie was. She said something about awaiting rebirth or something weird I don’t remember. I only remember that she said that Hitler was in some kind of purgatorial cocoon.

I feel like this blog has turned into the family death update center! Sheesh.

All love to Marina and her mom and brothers and sisters.

Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink Comments