Focus on The Fact That You’re Assholes!

Roy and Silo, the ex-faggot penguins (courtesy of edgeboston.com)

As yet another hurricane gets ready to batter the Texas coast (undoubtedly caused by the fact that George Bush executed retards, since the hurricane is clearly in the shape of a retard), Focus on the Family is busy gloating about the fact that a couple of homsexual penguins that raised a penguin chick together seem to have split up, making Silo an “ex-gay” penguin.

OK, two things:

First off, I agree with them on this point: Aside from the fact that there is tons of evidence for all kinds of sporadic homosexual behavior in nature, not to mention all kinds of other wonderfully weird shit, the fact that anyone in the gay marriage movement would’ve been so moronic as to make a couple of penguins the poster children of their projected politics is (also) retarded. That would be like me making an argument for infanticide and cannibalism based on the fact that some animals have been known to eat their own children.

Second: Nevertheless, a supposedly Christian organization that gloats over something like this is despicable, and I now plan on gloating the next time James Dobson has a fucking heart attack, particularly if he dies. Shall we make a list of all the ex-gays in your “movement” who are back to sucking dick? Of course, you’ve got the ex-lesbo Anne Heche, but, oh, her dad was a minister who died of AIDS from an contracted in an illicit gay love affair. I’m sorry, am I gloating?

The fact that their newsletter is so obsessed w/ people’s sexual proclivities in the supposed “family” arena (they’re all in a dither about imminent new Federal crackdowns on pornography today, too) is a pretty good indication of how out of touch this organization is with the true needs of Americans: healthcare, living wages, affordable housing and a government run by professionals instead of incompetent political cronies, etc.

Here’s the text from their newsletter today:

Silo Rains on the Penguin Pride Parade
by Warren Throckmorton, Ph.D.

SUMMARY: One of America’s A-list gay couples has broken
up.

No, it’s not Rosie and Kelli. It’s Roy and Silo. Roy and
Silo are male penguins. Chinstrap penguins to be exact.

About six years ago, Roy and Silo set up housekeeping
together in New York’s Central Park Zoo. They courted and
attempted to mate and by all accounts were fairly
inseparable. They even adopted a child together. Roy and
Silo hatched little Tango a couple of years ago and raised
her as their own.

Read more

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September 20, 2005

Cussin’ ‘n’ Shit

George Carlin by Tim Bower (from the NY Times)

Here’s a great New York Times piece from today’s Science section by Natalie Angier about the origins and importance of swearing in the history of language.

Here’s a non-shocker that the puritans among us will surely find disconcerting:

Yet as much as bad language can deliver a jolt, it can help wash away stress and anger. In some settings, the free flow of foul language may signal not hostility or social pathology, but harmony and tranquillity.

And this to explain why fuck, shit, asshole, cunt, pussy, dick, etc. are verboten by those in America who’d like to pretend we don’t do or have any of these expletives:

Researchers have also examined how words attain the status of forbidden speech and how the evolution of coarse language affects the smoother sheets of civil discourse stacked above it. They have found that what counts as taboo language in a given culture is often a mirror into that culture’s fears and fixations. “In some cultures, swear words are drawn mainly from sex and bodily functions, whereas in others, they’re drawn mainly from the domain of religion,” Dr. Deutscher said.

And Finally:

… the word “toilet” stems from the French word for “little towel” and was originally a pleasantly indirect way of referring to the place where the chamber pot or its equivalent resides. But toilet has since come to mean the porcelain fixture itself, and so sounds too blunt to use in polite company. Instead, you ask your tuxedoed waiter for directions to the ladies’ room or the restroom or, if you must, the bathroom.

Perhaps we should change the name of our paper to The Restroom Periodical after all.

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September 17, 2005

Darkside Sign

Here’s the sign that caused such an uproar on Platte Ave. the other day after the Darkside was evicted (courtesy of Dean):

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September 15, 2005

Soul Search Edisode #5: Is Homosexuality a Sin?

Editor’s Note: Comments will be moderated on this one, folks. Please keep it civil so that we might enjoy a serious debate that will include folks on the right who may not share our values. Thanks! — Ed.

vs.

Rob Brendle, Associate Pastor at New Life Church v. Ron Miller, Professor of Religions at Lake Forest College and co-founder of Common Ground, a center for the study of comparative relgions in Chicago.

Ron Miller: What leads you to think that the Bible condemns homosexuality?

Rob Brendle: What leads me to think that the Bible condemns homosexuality is …
the Bible. Scripture consistently condemns several patterns of sinful living,
none more prominently than sexual immorality. Homosexuality is clearly included
under this umbrella. Leviticus 18:22 reads, “Do not practice homosexuality; it
is a detestable sin.” The New Testament condemns the practice as well: 1
Corinthians 6:9-10 reads, “Don’t you know that those who do wrong will have no
share in the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual
sin, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals,
thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers, and swindlers - none of these will
have a share in the Kingdom of God.”

Read more

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September 15, 2005

September Issue of The Toilet Paper On Stands Now

The new issue will be available here on the web in just a few days.

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September 7, 2005

Westword Props

Michael Roberts, the media critic at Denver’s Westword wrote an excellent piece about The Toilet Paper HERE.

An Excerpt:

The cover illustration for August’s Toilet Paper seems calculated to offend as many constituencies as possible in the free monthly’s Colorado Springs base of operations. Labeled “The Fashions of the Christ,” the drawing (by an artist who calls himself XT) spotlighted a “Commando Crusader” series of refrigerator magnets built around a ripped-looking Jesus wearing camouflage-pattern briefs and brandishing a holy hand grenade. That’s an explosive image for born-again Christians and Army inductees alike. An accompanying “Hillbilly Heaven” fridge set tweaked local yokels, too, via an overalls-clad JC holding a jug of moonshine and a banjo. Deliverance, anyone?

Goring sacred cows like these in a such a conservative community seems akin to business suicide — but, paradoxically, this tack has turned into the Paper’s saving grace.

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September 7, 2005

Grim Photos/Excellent Katrina Timeline

(image courtesy of stern.de)

Here’s an excellent, well-sourced timeline over at ThinkProgress.org (via DailyKOS) of the response to Hurricane Katrina that clearly demonstrates the blatant incompetence, insensitivity (if not willful ignorance) of the disaster by the Bush administration. Keep this photo from the German blog stern.de in mind as you read, because FEMA is denying photographers the right to publish pictures of the dead just as they’ve denied them the right to photograph flag-covered caskets returning from Iraq.

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September 6, 2005

Gay and Lesbian Fund v. Focus on the Family

Check out the 1st and 3rd headlines from the Gazette. Of course, Focus is more than happy to take your donations and redirect them for you, but they apparently ain’t givin shit out of their $150 Million annual budget directly. Says a lot about how FOTF and the President they support feel about about NOLA, idn’t it? (thank Terri!)

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September 4, 2005

Link to Interview w/ NOLA Mayor

Listen to this MP3 interview w/ New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin!!!

(via the New York Times)

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September 4, 2005

David Brooks Sips from the 40 of Suck

by John Dicker

David Brooks used to write interesting pieces on politics and culture for The Atlantic and The Weekly Standard. I didn’t always agree, but they were challenging and fun to read. His book on the culture of bourgeois bohemians, Bobos in Paradise, is laugh out loud funny. I’ll even go to bat, albeit less enthusiastically, for his critically kneed-in-the-balls paean to exurban America, On Paradise Road.

But as a Times columnist, Brooks falls flat. Granted, producing two opinion pieces a week is no easy job. I couldn’t do it. But neither can Brooks, who’s surely paid a handsome sum to swig from the 40 of suck. Like so much of the commentariat the boy spends waaay too much time with Aspen Institute types to where he’s blinded to that which is painfully obvious to residents of America.

Witness his recent column on Katrina.

“Americans in 2005 are not quite in that bad a shape, since the fundamental realities of everyday life are good. The economy and the moral culture are strong.”

Huh? Isn’t our moral culture a little too strong? Was this not proved by Schiavogate? If not that then the jamboree of insufferable virtuecrats that gave us “Justice Sunday,” (parts I and II)? And the economy? Didn’t Brooks see that a million more Americans have slipped into poverty last year? Did he miss the wretched of the earth on parade in Port Au Prince, er, New Orleans this week? And surely the soon to be in full effect bankruptcy bill’s going to help the dispossessed with their credit ratings… Especially when so many big employers perform credit checks as part of the job application process.

In the wake of Plamegate, Rathergate and the rest there’s been no shortage of chattering about journalistic bias and integrity. But what about the Class Bias?

The economy probably looks goddam gorgeous if your portfolio includes big oil, military contractors and the like. Or if you opine for the New York Times. To those who struggle to pay insurance premiums, or, my God, live in the Gulf Coast, the outlook is a lot weaker.

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