September 05
Roy and Silo, the ex-faggot penguins (courtesy of edgeboston.com)
As yet another hurricane gets ready to batter the Texas coast (undoubtedly caused by the fact that George Bush executed retards, since the hurricane is clearly in the shape of a retard), Focus on the Family is busy gloating about the fact that a couple of homsexual penguins that raised a penguin chick together seem to have split up, making Silo an “ex-gay” penguin.
OK, two things:
First off, I agree with them on this point: Aside from the fact that there is tons of evidence for all kinds of sporadic homosexual behavior in nature, not to mention all kinds of other wonderfully weird shit, the fact that anyone in the gay marriage movement would’ve been so moronic as to make a couple of penguins the poster children of their projected politics is (also) retarded. That would be like me making an argument for infanticide and cannibalism based on the fact that some animals have been known to eat their own children.
Second: Nevertheless, a supposedly Christian organization that gloats over something like this is despicable, and I now plan on gloating the next time James Dobson has a fucking heart attack, particularly if he dies. Shall we make a list of all the ex-gays in your “movement” who are back to sucking dick? Of course, you’ve got the ex-lesbo Anne Heche, but, oh, her dad was a minister who died of AIDS from an contracted in an illicit gay love affair. I’m sorry, am I gloating?
The fact that their newsletter is so obsessed w/ people’s sexual proclivities in the supposed “family” arena (they’re all in a dither about imminent new Federal crackdowns on pornography today, too) is a pretty good indication of how out of touch this organization is with the true needs of Americans: healthcare, living wages, affordable housing and a government run by professionals instead of incompetent political cronies, etc.
Here’s the text from their newsletter today:
Silo Rains on the Penguin Pride Parade
by Warren Throckmorton, Ph.D.SUMMARY: One of America’s A-list gay couples has broken
up.No, it’s not Rosie and Kelli. It’s Roy and Silo. Roy and
Silo are male penguins. Chinstrap penguins to be exact.About six years ago, Roy and Silo set up housekeeping
together in New York’s Central Park Zoo. They courted and
attempted to mate and by all accounts were fairly
inseparable. They even adopted a child together. Roy and
Silo hatched little Tango a couple of years ago and raised
her as their own.
However, recently Silo has become perhaps the world’s
first documented ex-gay penguin. He has moved out of his
nest with Roy and taken up with Scrappy, a hot little bird
who recently moved in from Sea World Zoo in San Diego. I
guess he was wishing for a California girl.For those who have pointed to Roy and Silo as models for
us all, these developments must be disappointing. Some gay
activists might actually be angry.When zoo keepers in Germany attempted to force male pairs
of endangered penguins to mate with females, they received
hate mail from gay-rights groups. Finally, in a bow to the
pressure the zoos relented and stopped their breeding
efforts.Chief among the chagrinned may be the authors of a
children’s book about the Roy and Silo and their adopted
daughter called, “And Tango Makes Three.”About the book, The School Library Journal gushed, “This
joyful story about the meaning of family is a must for any
library.”Publisher’s Weekly wrote that Silo and Roy’s love story
provides a picture of “non-traditional families that
youngsters can understand. This tender story can also
serve as a gentle jumping-off point for discussions about
same-sex partnerships in human society.”I think now that jumping-off point has become less gentle.
No word yet from the New York Times that ran a story on
the pair called “The Love that Dare not Squeak its Name.”
The article suggested that gay rights might hinge on
penguin pride. “Gay groups argue that if homosexual
behavior occurs in animals, it is natural, and therefore
the rights of homosexuals should be protected,” wrote
Denitia Smith, author of the article.With Silo and Scrappy picking out curtains together, will
gay-rights groups now acknowledge that sexual orientation
changes? The concept of gay-penguin permanence painted by
the Times and “And Tango Makes Three” now seems more like
fiction than public policy signpost.So should former homosexuals among us say, “I told you
so?”Inasmuch as gay-rights activists use animal behavior as an
argument against the capacity of people to change, it is
worth pointing out sexual behavior and bonding in animals
is not necessarily fixed.However, in general I would advise against deriving
lessons about human traits from animal behavior.About the only thing we can say from the Roy, Silo and
Scrappy love triangle is that sexuality in animals is
flexible, context driven and influenced by factors we do
not fully understand. Love children from the 1960s said
pretty much the same thing, but I don’t think they took
their cue from penguins.Whether it be conservative exuberance over the movie
“March of the Penguins” and its tribute to family values
or gay-rights groups’ extrapolation from nature to
naturalness, analogies to what animals do in the
semi-privacy of their nests cannot provide moral lessons
to people.When I want guidance on public policy matters, I don’t go
to the zoo.So when activists talk about homosexuality in the animal
kingdom, keep in mind that we don’t know much about what
function same-sex behavior serves for any animal species.Some scientists who are also gay advocates recognize the
muddle we get into when we wax anthropomorphic about
sexual categories. For instance, gay-gene proponents, Dean
Hamer and Peter Copeland pointed out in their book,
Science of Desire that “. . .there is no good animal model
of human heterosexuality, let alone homosexuality.” In
other words, “Pigs don’t date . . . and horses don’t get
married.”And for family values or gay rights, penguins don’t march.
(Warren Throckmorton, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor of
Psychology and Fellow for Psychology and Public Policy in
the Center for Vision and Values at Grove City College in
Pennsylvania. He is past-president of the American Mental
Health Counselors Association and is the producer of the
documentary, “I Do Exist” about sexual orientation
change.)Posted by: darksandal in Uncategorized | Permalink
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7 Responses to “Focus on The Fact That You’re Assholes!”
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Noel: Why do you hate the American family so?
Not Telling: I suppose you define “the American family” as those families of whom you personally approve? If you really care so much about people, why do people of your ilk always seem inclined to force arbitrary separations between them?
Do you really believe that by projecting the image of sin onto other people that you can escape your own feelings of inadequacy and guilt?
I can’t speak for this Noel fellow, whoever the hell that is, but I can tell you that I hate the American Family for the following reasons:
1. Thighmasters
2. 1st night
3. Buttfucking
4. Laborious discussions leading nowhere
5. Implied consent
6. Jail time
7. Yasso Belitnik
8. Shin bone cancer
9. Pale dog blue and the fuck facts
10. American Families ruining my life all the time, what with the specials and the lines and the holier than thou and the ‘i’m going to hell’ all the time, what with the saviour not accepting my acceptance of his gift of salvation and the devil beckoning my loins in a sacred embrace and the temptations, the filthy and oh so fucking lubricated tempations and the piece about the war in Iraq and the Kanye West song about Gold Diggin’ an the big red dog and the ironed sheets and the funny underwear, not underoos, that people have to wear if the want to get into the planetary kingship of heavenly rule and the way that the lady at the 7-11 looks at me when I buy condoms with my debit card and then select $100 cash back on the little machine, presumably for hookers, and the time I fell in a goddamned pit that swallowed me whole without warning or respect for my inhumatiy and the time I had to kill a rabbit at the bottom of a pit that I once had the misfortune of falling into and once, against the reason of time, I contracted a plebian flu, though its matter and import were highly suspect I spent the better part of 7 hours shitting blood out of my cock because the American Family, hosted by Louis Anderson, would not cease it’s ill-timed laughter at my expense. That is why I hate the American Family, why do you love the American Family? If you can anser that one, please do, because I’d like to know, seriously, I’d really like to kjnow why you think the American Family is so goddamned righteously high and bestowed upon by the ‘creator’ of meteors and plasma screen televisions. Seems to me that your one of these guys that might like to tuck it in between your legs and ask yourself, apparent in the mirror before you, if you’d like to fuck you, you’d like to fuck you, wouldn’t you? You’re a sick little fucker and you deserve what’s coming your way.
Your Friend,
-Pete Jones, Grumpy Cadmium
You’re right Pete! Not Telling is a dirty little coward.
Hey, Thanks Grampa! By the way, what are you doing up so early?
Oh, I’m just hosing off my gear…
Got a bunch of filthy man seed all over it last night. Your step grandmother really enjoys the old “how do ye do?”
Yeah, I bet she does grampa. Seems like my step-grams is a filthy little whore, but if she makes you happy that the important thing.
I’m happy that you’re still able to spill your seed, presumably all over that replacement grandma’s cardboard flappy mams.
I don’t like her as much as I liked dead grams.
Peace out Gramps.
-Grandsonny Petey.