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May 08
May 31, 2008
The Denver Post reported today on the press conference dealing with some new alien footage that claimed to be conclusive proof of aliens visiting Earth. But whaddaya know, they couldn’t actually allow the footage to be released to the public because the rights belonged to someone else. Ain’t that always the way?
The press conference was called by Denverite Jeff Peckman, who also wants to found an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission, and featured footage shot in Nebraska by a father who feared that pervs were looking at his two daughters through a window eight feet off the ground. But lo!, instead of garden variety masturbators, the father captured an balloonish alien head that bobs up and down throughout the video.
The Post link above features a still image from the footage and also a deliberate fake video that illustrates how the original itself could have been faked. The video underwent a vetting process, during which several experts took a look. But keep in mind that that process was presided over by MUFON, which is sort of like getting a bunch of evangelicals together to decide if God is real.
For all of you who’re interested in this subject, allow me to direct you to Joel Achenbach’s excellent book Captured by Aliens, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned on this blog before and which I recommend to everybody I meet. Achenbach, ever an empiricist (and the author of Why Things Are, a Miami Herald science column that was widely syndicated), talked to NASA officials and Carl Sagan and Frank Drake and New Agers–and David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson!– and everybody else involved in the wide world of extraterrestials. It’s a great read, and having absorbed it and a lot of similar literature, I’m pretty much with Sagan and Achenbach on this: the likelihood of life elsewhere, given an infinite universe, is big. Probable, even. But the likelihood of us ever running into anything else is appropriately infinitesmal. Sorry, MUFON. Space is just too big.
So until it becomes clearly apparent (no ownership issues, no grainy footage, no blurry pictures and anecdotes) that we’re members of a galactic community, why don’t we all spend some time on our planetary community? The thing that often strikes me about UFO devotees is that, other than issues dealing with governmental complicity in covering up alien life, they have little interest in politics. Reptilians capture interest; the school board elections do not. Escapism is escapism, no matter how passionate its prophets.
(And yes, I fully realize the hypocrisy of running this post shortly after one about how much I want to play D&D. Shut up.)
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Celebrity Doubler | Permalink 1 Comment
May 30, 2008
Sorry, but I keep forgetting to post these. As always, a I hope that a modicum of information can be dredged from our sewer of buffoonery…..
Posted by: Klayton Elliot Kendall in Uncategorized | Permalink 1 Comment
May 30, 2008
I’ve been fairly seething with jealousy recently at the news that Klayton Kendall of Springs/Colorado Culture Cast and the blogger known only as Nonprophet started a group who’re playing Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. I, like many admitted geeks, played for a time in my junior-high and high-school years. I was even a DM. But it’s been years since I picked up the ol’ dice.
Klayton’s been documenting the group’s adventures over at his new blog, and I’ve been avidly (and very secretly) following along. The campaign, which is one of Klayton’s invention, sounds awesome. I really, really, REALLY want to join the group. AD&D is just fun, and now that I’m in a position to be a cultural trendsetter—or at least informer—I don’t have to worry about being ostracized from the junior-high lunchroom because of the suede dice bag I plan to tie around my belt and carry with me everywhere. I even got married, so that whole getting laid thing is taken care of. It’s almost as if I planned this!
At last night’s PPEC function, I buttonholed Klayton and begged him to let me into the group. He agreed, but I have a feeling that my membership is probationary, my continuing welcome a function of me not being such a goddamn spaz about it all. And what character class shall I be? Duh. A mage. This is going to be the best summer ever.
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Gay for ... | Permalink 9 Comments
May 30, 2008
My Second Life mate, Balder Laasonen, stocks Zwack in our
store in Neufreistadt. He laughed when I read Aaron’s
description of its taste, so he mustn’t be too far off.
So glad it’s our official libation!
Posted by: Marie Walden in Let's Win! | Permalink Comments
May 30, 2008
By Newspeak Special Baby Animal Correspondent Jana in Monument Valley Park:
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Cute Overlord | Permalink 1 Comment
May 29, 2008
Oh, settle down. This is a family blog.
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Gay for ... | Permalink 3 Comments
May 29, 2008
At Newspeak’s perennial bar of choice, McCabe’s, they’ve got a huge street marquee advertising Zwack. What is Zwack, you ask? Zwack is one of many liquors made and distributed by a Hungarian company called Zwack. It is an herbal liqueur clearly meant to capitalize on and steal some of the Jägermeister demographic. It is without a doubt the worst-smelling liquor in the whole world, falling in at somewhere between an abandoned crude distillery packed with months-old human corpses and the results of a nail polish-remover enema. (Its taste, I should add, is much less offensive, sort of Ricola-ish, if Ricolas were filled with syrupy grain alcohol.)
Anyway, I’ve decided that I’m going to help the good people at Zwack out by fostering among its products a sense of mysterious cool, rather than, shall we say, creepy Iron Curtain alcoholism. I think Hungary will be the next touchstone for all things hip and Continental. Vowels will go out of style! Clothing brands will surface called Budapest Nights and Szexuális Élet! Magyar bars will become the rage! And it’ll all be because of Zwack.
So, here you go:
Zwack is now the official liquor of Newspeak.
I urge you to visit their website and find out more about this great company and their fantastic products. Zwack makes, by the way, a traditional Hungarian brandy called Barack, which they should totally capitalize on: “BARACK BY ZWACK. ROCK THE VOTE WITH BARACK. BY ZWACK.”
(The real reason that I like Zwack so much is because it’s fun to say: “Zvaaaahk.”)
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Let's Win! | Permalink 8 Comments
May 29, 2008
There are three things that just blew my mind about the clip below.
1) Flavor Flav is in a sitcom, called Under One Roof.
2) The premise of the sitcom is that Flav must go live with rich relatives, who are far more uptight that Flav.
3) That premise is exactly the same as Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Gay for ... | Permalink 3 Comments
May 29, 2008
I’m sure you’re all well acquainted with the hubbub over former White House press secretary Scott McClellan’s book, which basically outlines every reason the Bush administration lies and hoards secrets like a greedy, bitter squirrel (who, you know, hoards secrets instead of acorns. Never mind—it was a shitty simile anyway). This is the same guy who picked on Helen Thomas, remember, but now he’s my hero:
Sorry, removed the clip because it was causing havoc to the site.
(Oh, and John Dickerson has a great piece on McClellan over at Slate.)
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Election '08 | Permalink 1 Comment
May 29, 2008
I just got word that the Colorado Springs Farm and Art Market announced their official location and opening for this summer:
June 11 – October 11, Saturdays 9–1pm at The Margarita at Pine Creek restaurant and Wednesdays 3-7pm at America the Beautiful Park.
The Colorado Farm and Art Market kicks off the growing season in a NEW location with live music and fresh spring veggies. The Pikes Peak Region Locavore Challenge will also kick off at the start of the Market.
CFAM in partnership with the Peak to Plains Alliance will challenge participants to eat only local food, grown or raised within 300 miles of Colorado Springs, during this growing season. Participants will pledge to eat locally at various levels of commitment.
The Pikes Peak Region Locavore Challenge will allow people to connect with their food system, making small changes in eating habits that have a significant environmental impact. Food travels an average of 1300 miles from the field to the table. Though eating locally you can reduce your ‘food miles’ while reducing your carbon food print, supporting small farmers and, eating fresh delicious food!
Exciting news for local gourmands and art folks; I’m a huge fan of the Margarita, and the market is taking place in that big open field just off the patio. Tres Colorado, and very, very local. Plus, I’m a sudden fan of the word “locavore.”
Posted by: Aaron Retka in Food and Drink | Permalink 2 Comments
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