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January 09

January 30, 2009

Really really Free Market

Saw this on facebook–thought Newspeak readers might be interested.

Bring whatever you have to give or share. Clothing, stuff, books, food, talents or laughter. We all have more than we need so why let it collect dust when someone might actually be needing it? Take what you need– give what you don’t. No money! No barter! No trading! Everything is free and for the taking! EVERYONE IS WELCOME (CC students and CSprings residents alike) Make signs/posters! Tell your friends! Make them come!

1-3 PM–WORNER QUAD– COLORADO COLLEGE
FEBRUARY 21st
MARCH 28TH
APRIL 25TH

Why a really REALLY free market you ask?: (nicked from the San Francisco Really Really Free Market [the original])

Because there is enough for everyone
Because sharing is more fufilling than owning
Because corporations would rather see landfills overflow than anyone get anything for free
Because scarcity is a myth constructed to keep us at the mercy of the economy
Because a sunny day outside is better than anything money can buy
Because “free trade” is a contradiction of terms
Because no one should have to do without food, shelter, entertainment, and community
Because life should be a picnic, but it only will be if we make it happen

Posted by: Redhead Hope in Economy Go Boom!, Things To Do in COS | Permalink 1 Comment

January 30, 2009

Happy Hagtoberfest!

I caught Alexandra Pelosi’s Ted Haggard documentary, The Trials of Ted Haggard, tonight and then cooked up a mess of German food to celebrate the holiday we called Hagtoberfest. I almost wore lederhosen, so huge was my delight.

But goddamn, it’s sad. Technical issues aside—and this is a terribly clumsy documentary technically. Like, come on, Pelosi. Get a proofreader—it painted a convincingly tragic picture of Pastor Ted. Watch him dress up for a failed job interview! Watch him sell insurance door-to-door! Watch him unselfconsciously deep-throat a popsicle as he drives his family’s U-Haul from one hotel to another! His trust and apparent affinity for Pelosi allowed her to catch him at his most vulnerable, and the result is truly harrowing and heartbreaking.

The saddest thing is that, while you witness Haggard bemoaning the loss of his congregation, his influence, his status, his friends, his money and his career, you know that he could have much of it back if he just came out as a gay Christian; there is, in Obama’s hope-y, change-y America, a place for an inclusive megachurch, and an out gay man like Haggard would be just the guy to lead it. At one point, he draws a line (and I’m paraphrasing): “Am I gay or am I an evangelical? I am who I am.” He gets thoughtful for a moment, and you’re sure this is the eureka moment, but Haggard continues, “I’m an evangelical.” He’s a fascinating character, and so clearly full of self-loathing, that it’s impossible not to feel sorry for him.

It’s flawed, as Slate pointed out, but worth a watch—and look for the Newspeak reference!—although I think Pelosi could have done more, like examine the politics behind pre-fall Haggard and look at post-Haggard New Life. That said, my Haggardschnitzel was delicious, if less infused with schadenfreude.

Posted by: Aaron Retka in Haggard: Gay | Permalink 1 Comment

January 29, 2009

Cheney the Younger

This just in! We can trace the roots of the tremendous executive power developed by ~~Anakin Skywalker~~ Dick Cheney to the hallowed stacks of Tutt Library on Ye Olde Colorado College campus right here in Colorado Springs.

Both Cheney daughters graduated from CC, but an intrepid Slate reporter (and fellow CC alum) Zac Frank has unearthed the fascinating contents of Elizabeth’s senior thesis: The Evolution of Presidential War Powers

“In 1988, while Dick Cheney was Wyoming’s sole representative in the
House of Representatives, his daughter’s senior thesis was quietly
published in Colorado Springs. The 125-page treatise argued that,
constitutionally and historically, presidents have virtually unchecked
powers in war. Thirteen years before her father became vice president,
she had symbolically authored the first legal memorandum of the Bush
administration, laying out the same arguments that would eventually
justify Guantanamo and extraordinary rendition, wiretapping of American
citizens, and, broadly, the unitary theory of the executive that shaped
the Bush presidency.”

Thanks to Eva for the link!

Posted by: Redhead Hope in Vast Phil Collins Conspiracy | Permalink 1 Comment

January 29, 2009

Today in “AYFKM?!”

I know Newspeak’s not big on product endorsements, and rightly so. So here’s an un-endorsement.

I’m shopping for a new laptop, ’cause mine’s junked. Due to contracts, I’m limited to one of two manufactures: Lenovo (IBM) and Dell. Which will I choose? Well, there’s a solid manufacturer like IBM, and then there’s another company (who will remain nameless) that pulls stuff like this on poor bogged-down IT guys:

Yep. That’s right. Some guy in India turns on your new computer, hits F1, and then after that it’s $8.50 for each time he clicks a button.

Pure evil.

Not stupid enough for you? Check out this steaming turd brilliant marketing. It’ll make you physically sick totally get a Dell, dude.

Posted by: Clarks Last Biscuit in Hi, I'm a Moron! | Permalink 2 Comments

January 29, 2009

The plan.

In the second week of February, I’ll be leaving town to spend a month at a remote cabin in the north woods of Minnesota, a place with no running water, miles from the nearest person, on a huge frozen lake where winter temperatures routinely hover below 20 degrees below zero. I’m going with my dog, but I’ll otherwise be alone in the woods, 30 minutes by car from a grocery store or hospital, an hour from the closest town of any size. I’m crazy in doing so.

I’m letting you Newspeak-oids know sooner rather than later because I don’t want rumors getting started that I’m in any way abandoning this or you. As internet access allows, I’ll be blogging here, and at the blog set up specifically for the trip, as often as I can. Rest assured that the site’s not going anywhere.

So here’s an excerpt from the blog entry explaining things:

So, I talked to some friends tonight who saw the link to this blog and were like, “Whaaaaa? You’re leaving us and the Springs and Newspeak and your wife and you’re never coming back and oh my god what the hell?” All I can say is chill. Here’s what’s going on:

I had a rough fall and winter, as most of you did. Money was—and still is—tight, I was forced to scrap the most visible end of my livelihood, my city was crumbling around me and it suddenly occurred to me that all of the work I’d put into giving our town a truly alternative media voice was going to come to an ignominious end. This was not a particularly encouraging revelation, as you can imagine.

So I decided to take some time away and try to hammer out a book while I was at it. The cabin on Winnibigoshish holds great memories for me, and it’s deserted in the winter, so it was a natural selection for this little experiment.

My ultimate goal is to devote a month to creativity, to allow myself the time to write while devoid of distraction. Yes, it’s an escape of sorts, but going to the cabin—which, it’s just occurred to me, I should probably give a better name than “the cabin”—is more about constructing an environment where what I put in has a direct and proportional relationship with what comes out. If I don’t collect snow to boil for drinking water, I die of thirst. If I fail to chop wood, I freeze to death. Every action, my theory goes, should have a reaction. It’s Newtonian, a manufactured simplification of the way I live. And that, given the year I’ve had, sounds ideal. But it doesn’t mean I’m fleeing from my responsibilities or my marriage or my community.

This sabbatical also doesn’t translate to Newspeak going anywhere. I’ll have internet access—although to what extent, I don’t know yet—and I’ll be blogging and overseeing the site while at the cabin, as much as I can. I’m still doing Newspeak. I will still be doing Newspeak when I get back. I’ll hopefully still be doing Newspeak years from now. It’s not something I’m about to abandon, because what it stands for and who it belongs to mean too much to me. So put that thought right out of your heads.

The story, in a nutshell, is this: I’m going to the middle of nowhere for a month to write and be alone. It will be cold and foreign and inhospitable and profoundly different. I will be occasionally miserable and often lonely, but I will take long walks through the snow and string together sentences and take pictures to share with all of you. And something good will, I hope, be the result.

So. We cool?

Posted by: Aaron Retka in Heterosexual Hall of Fame, Hi, I'm a Moron! | Permalink 9 Comments

January 27, 2009

Are we gonna be godly or bad?

So my hoped-for Big Reveal didn’t take place during Tak Landrock’s KDRO story tonight on Haggard’s accuser. We got some juiciness—the best of which was a recording of Ted thanking this poor kid for deleting explicit text messages—but you know and I know that this story doesn’t end with a 22-year-old who came forward because New Life missed one of their hush-money payments. At this point, it’s become clear that Haggard’s behavior was systemic.

Posted by: Aaron Retka in Haggard: Gay | Permalink 7 Comments

January 27, 2009

Technology is cool.

Regardless of your opinion of Obama, you have to admit that the below photo is all sorts of awesome. (And yes, I know that this has sooooo already made the blogosphere rounds and I’m late in posting about it. The internet is a race and I lose. Shut up.) At the inauguration, David Bergman constructed a composite of over 200 photos that allows you to go from the panorama to very intimate tight shots, seeing exactly which members of the crowd were feeling up their girlfriends in a frenzy of Obama-induced horniness. So this …

… begets delicious little vignettes like this:

And this:

Very cool. I suggest you spend some time there, although the site likes to crash from heavy traffic and take your browser with it. The challenge is to find Oprah and Jessica Alba, although not Matt Damon, because we know that he wasn’t there. Boo, Matt Damon!

Posted by: Aaron Retka in Gay for ..., Spicy Pony Head, Uncategorized | Permalink 1 Comment

January 27, 2009

As if things weren’t bad enough …

… Auschwitz is falling apart.

</sarcasm>

Posted by: Kevin J. in Hi, I'm a Moron! | Permalink Comments

January 27, 2009

Niiiiiiice.

Okay, at this point it’s sort of become pure schadenfreude and voyeurism, but please do check out this CNN further Haggardness. And tonight at 10, intrepid hobbit reporter Tak Landrock reveals the findings of his 2-year investigation into New Life.

Hint: It’s gonna be big, muthafucka.

Posted by: Aaron Retka in Haggard: Gay | Permalink 2 Comments