« June 2005 | Main | August 2005 »

Church Kickin' Good

Just in time for the 100 degree heat, these latest unsolicited Church Kicker pics arrived with the following caption from Helena Handbasket:

You see, my friend Lucy and I were passing through Montrose, CO on our way back to, um, Nashville, where we are little known country music stars... Well we had just finished our engagement at the Telluride Bluegrass Freebox Fashion Show (where we placed third, by the way). As we drove into scenic Montrose, Lucy spied this quaint church sign and mentioned it to me, the bus driver (we dont have roadies yet), and I instantly thought of your fine publication, which I'd picked up in this fabulous progressive art mecca of the West, Colorado Springs! Have you been there???!! You must go if you haven't... Anyway, I turned a sharp U-ie and we headed back for the church only to find another message on the back of the sign. This church gets 'em comin' and goin' don't you know! So we pulled into the parking lot, I pulled on my Church Kickin' Boots (a song in the writing - don't get any ideas), we did the deed, shot the pics, wondered if we'd ever be run out of Montrose in the future, and left town. Naturally, a song effervessed in our collective hearts and the Ol' Montrose blues was born. So that, pretty much sums it up.

Church Whipper UNCENSORED

Most high indeed! And what’s this? The Church Whipper! Yes please. Sorry Church of the Most High, we had absolutely no reason to pick on you whatsoever, except for your great name. You know you loved it. Don’t forget kiddies, if you kick a church and send us a photo and a caption you get a free Church Kicker t-shirt. churchkicker@toiletpaperonline.com. Church Whipper T's coming soon!

(Get your Church Kicker T-Shirt HERE and subscribe to the print edition of The Toilet Paper HERE and support free speech in Colorado Springs!)