Church Kicker

Church Kicker Tryouts!

Wanna kick churches for no money at all? Have we got an uncompensated non-job for you! Come try out. Bring your kicking shoes.

Statz: Monday (tomorrow or today, depending on when you read this), noon, Christian Science Church downtown.

I'll absolutely, positively be giving a speech. KILL SHIT!

Synagogue Ignorer

Lest you thought the TP biased against Christians only in our Church Kicking, here's the Synangogue Ignorer to kick off our Judeo-Christian mockery on the first day of Hannukah:

This young Jewish lass gave us the following reasons for ignoring this Synagogue: "I'm ignoring this synagogue because you have to buy a membership. As if Jewish people don't have enough stigma for being stingy! And even if you’re a member, you still have to buy tickets for religious holidays and special events. If you're poor, you have to apply for special membership assistance. I think it's lame. It’s hard enough to be Jewish in this world with all the people who hate us without having to pay to be a Jew. If you’re gonna catch hell, you might as well be able to worship for free. Even Christians get to worship for free even though they may get peer pressure when the plate gets passed."