It's Danish cartoon day! Christopher J. Rush wrote to me to complain that the TP hasn't been catholic (little "c") enough in our mockery of religious institutions. It's a complaint I have heard from others including Rob Brendle. Here is his email and my response follows:
You can kick churches and make fun of pacifistic religious groups, but ask yourself who is really interested in taking away freedom of the press. Who? Who is it now?? The Muslims, yeah they are running around the world burning down buildings and killing people because a paper in Denmark published a cartoon of Mohammad with a bomb hat! So, I found this image on bangedup.com and I totally fucking dare you to print it on the cover of your magazine!
I know you wont, you pussies!
It wouldnt be politicly correct right?
Dear Chris,
You aren't the first person to complain that The Toilet Paper hasn't done any mosque kicking. Let me start by saying that our policy has always been that those from the Christian culture/tradtion could kick/whip churches, and that Jews could kick/whip/make fun of synagogues, and Muslims can kick/whip their own mosques. That was our policy from day one, and we decided on it because we didn't want to get into potential perceived issues of cultural bullying or racism. (And I "challenge" you to make a case that a bunch of wankers kicking a building constitutes bullying.) But I'll gladly run an image of a naked muslim woman shirking a birka (Birka Shirker -- more franchise!) or a disaffected Muslim kicking a mosque, or whatever. I've been asking around for months, but so far, no one has stepped forward. Go figure. Send them my way, and I'll gladly put it on the front page.
Also, please don't be so naive: Given the opportunity, there are plenty of "freedom-loving" Christians among us who would gladly take away our freedoms, lock us away in camps, or take us out behind the shed and shoot us. It happened before -- why, just 60 years ago now one of the greatest genocides in history was initiated by a Christian. And, on a lighter note, I've got a lot of personal beef with Christians who cliam to "protect marriage" by excluding gays from having the same basic civil rights as straights when the Bible clearly condones polygamy, incest and slavery. Fortunately or unfortunately, Christians have a lot more political power here in the US right now than Muslims do -- not that I doubt they, too, would ban gay marriage and worse if they held power here. I'm not that naive either.
For the record, I do believe that Muslim fundamentalists are just as moronic as their Chrisitian counterparts. I just happen to be more worried about Christians because they're loudly shitting right here in my back yard and because they claim to represent my culture and my town. Do you, Chris, live in Colorado Springs? Do you remember the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Puritans, the KKK? I think we all have plenty of reasons to fear fundamentalism in general. Sure, it's all cheeky and cozy in the name of freedom, and yes it's all very non-violent, but I'd like to see James Dobson stand up and defend my gay family from an army of Christian fascists before he'd fire a shot at them.
In any case, I reiterate my call to any and all Muslims (by culture or belief) who feel disaffected/offended enough by the behavior of their fundamentalist Muslim brethren to shirk a birka or kick a mosque that has offended you. Send your pictures and reasons for doing so to editor@toiletpaperonline.com and I will gladly publish them.
