NEWSPEAK Blog

The O-Face Caption Contest!

To whomever provides the best caption for this here photograph, a sum of one (1) kiss on the cheek and one (1) beer of the winner's choosing will be awarded by me, Gregory Reilly.



Have fun?

After an hour and a half in the beating sun...

After waiting for a goddamn hour and a half in the heat, Barack finally showed up. We were all cordoned off, swept, sniffed at by dogs, and then given pretty specific instructions. The SS guy directing us was really cool and cracked a lot of jokes.

Barack came about 20' away from us and said a few words about volunteering and staying in school and then got into his Suburban. He hung out for a while and even threw us a terrorist handshake.

It is now raining on me, so that'll be that. Enjoy, EDIT: Springsteens, as it were.

Use this power for good, part II.

So he and I had a bit of a chat and I asked him what he was up to. He said he was "keeping an eye on things" and "making sure things don't get out of control." He mentioned that they might "show up with some McCain posters later." I asked him for his card, and of course he obliged.

He seemed nice enough.

Use this power for good.

So some guy was talking on his cell phone about arranging a protest for the event. Apparently he's with the El Paso County Republican Party. He's dressed nicely. He has signs. His email address is execdir@gopelpaso.com in case you're interested in letting him know you appreciate what the Republican Party is doing in El Paso County. That's execdir (as in "executive director") at GO EL PASO dot commie.

In completely unrelated news, I happened upon this nifty website: Mailinator. It sets up a temporary email address that is deleted within fifteen or so minutes of being registered. It's very convenient for signing up for services that might spam you or if, for instance, you would like to send an email anonymously.

Just saying.

Here he is on his phone arranging the protest.

He with his handful of signs and a few accomplices.

And because I am a camwhore--Mr. Reilly hard at work.

Please drink responsibly.

Obama hasn't talked yet but I have plenty to say.

So the line is extravagantly long and nobody can find the restrooms. I think Andrew and I have been questioned something like seven times by random passersby. I have a pot and change of coffee in my system and my leg is restless in the sort of way that the people who push off that ridiculous "restless leg syndrome" "medicine" would go batshit for.

The show hall looks like it'll hold something like 250 people and they've apparently got 400 tickets drifting around out there. It's predicted that Obama will be fashionably late by anything between an hour or two, but we've already got a couple hundred people lined up outside. They're all patiently waiting to be wanded and shown to their seats, chatting it up and trying to look pretty.

We realize the pointlessness of being here but we're pretty happy to have an excuse to sit around and make fun of people that we're obviously a bit envious of. I'd probably kill, at the very least, a cute puppy to actually get inside. This seems, as it were, unlikely to the point of irrelevance.

The school coffee shop has been pounded by the mochiatto latte etc. etc. crowd and aren't too pleased by it. "Supreme sugar-free non-fat vanilla latte!" the barista calls. The owner of said drink replies "you didn't say iced." Apparently he wanted it iced. He was adamant about the matter. I feel very happy that my palate prefers plain black coffee.

There doesn't seem like much point in sitting here and typing more about it. I am considering trying to get myself arrested. I think if I told my boss ahead of time that I was going to do so, I could get away with missing work. That would be delightful.

I am going to end this now and swear not to post more until I have transcended my self-indulgent nature and found something generally worth writing about. That, or until I feel like it. Or something. Aaron just gave me the go-ahead to post pictures at will, so you're just going to have to deal with it. Why am I still typing?

--Reilly

O-Face Pictures Extravaganza Part 2: Son of Pictures Extravaganza!

Metal detectors and TSA-looking security detail. I'm sure their wait will be much shorter than the typical security check at Denver Int'l.

Being Secret Service doesn't mean you don't occasionally look like a schmuck.

There. Are. Women. Everywhere.

Yeah.

These poor, idealistic college students. They really feel privileged to have the chance to effect real and direct change by volunteering to do grunt work at the behest of a higher, more influential power. They can't allow themselves to think that the entirety of their efforts is generally mocked and almost completely unappreciated. I am so glad that I am nothing like them whatsoever.


The Gazette photographer who seems to be their ONLY photographer ever. Who watches who watches the watchmen? I do, mofo. --Greg

O-Face Pictures Extravaganza!

Lookit that dish. Fox News is not screwing around today.


The clandestine photo of the Secret Service guy. I forgot to mention it, but he made a point to flash his belt badge at me--along with the two magazines of 9mm refills on a little belt clip. As if I couldn't tell already, ya schmuck.


The police dogs have been going for some time and they show no sign of stopping. Nearby are more of our friendly neighborhood secret police and the Obama volunteers getting schooled on how to conduct themselves and etc. Apparently they treat the security like they do at airports--take off your shoes through the metal detector and so forth.


There's a will-call booth, just like your neighborhood theatre.


Greg Reilly, camwhore extraordinaire, present and accounted for.

Liveblogging O-face

So this is Greg Reilly writing from picturesque UCCS. Andrew and I have shown up here to witness the spectacle that is the Barack Obama visit and we've already got a couple of stories to share. There are a hell of a lot of news vans out here--and have been since at least 5:30 this morning, when I first got into the neighborhood. Local crews have been doing periodic spots on the upper plaza while Secret Service get shit into order and make sure none of us fuddy-duddy yokels see too much of the super-secret setup in the University gymnasium.

As I was typing that, the line of sight I had to the entrance of the gym was shuttered off by a big, uhm, shutter that I never knew even existed. We chose the spot to ease our observations and now it seems that our cunning plan has been foiled. We vow to find other approaches to serve the no-doubt ravenous demand for useless information regarding this visit. If it works for the Fox News crew that's here, it'll work for us, right?

Obama has booth girls for some reason or another and it's by far the best part of the engagement as such. They are quite pretty and well-dressed. Chalk another one up for Obama over Clinton--his interns are definitely hotter than the ones Clinton kept around back in the day.

The hallway here is semi-filled with "professional" "journalists" drinking "coffee" and "shooting the shit." Everyone is rather bored and nobody seems happy about having to be here so early when the damn doors don't even open until 9:30. We ran into a local Obama volunteer who got a ticket to the event just last night and had a good chat with him about this-and-that. I see him now, just outside, chatting with one of the booth hotties. He seems genuinely interested in Obama and his campaign and desires to change the world for the better. He is summarily ignored at just about every turn.

As for the Secret Service, they've apparently been here for some time. Andrew showed up at 3:30 and inadvertently led an unmarked Concorde on a tour of campus, until, he says, they tried to cut him off and he sped off on his bike. I was trying to snap a picture of the inside of the gym just as the fearless SS officer walked up to the door. All he gave me was a stern "no," and walked toward me. Not wanting to sacrifice my expensive camera for a bullshit picture of the inner sanctum, I backed up a suitable distance and agreed not to take any pictures.

Then I snapped a picture of him with my phone. Clandestinely. Quasi-ninjastically. Is that a word? It is now.

We're having difficulties with the whole "pictures" thing (as a result of me not having slept at all and being forgetful about cables and the bringing of said cables) but as soon as I run home and grab the cables that I will need to use to transfer pictures to my laptop. Through the cables. Cables.  I assure you we'll have no shortage of pictures with almost no intrinsic value. Again, if it works for Fox News...

We'll be updating throughout the day, so keep an eye out for more of our up-to-the-when-we-feel-like-it bullshit.

Breaking: we make a great team!

I heard today that folks in Colorado Springs have been receiving robo-calls from Terry Maketa and the El Paso County sheriff's office campaigning for John "107 Ounces" Newsome. The gist of the calls is that Maketa and his big inflatable prison are urging voters to support Newsome's reelection because, said Maketa, "We make a great team." You certainly do! A great big corrupt, broke team!

The El Paso County Democratic Party couldn't speak to the legality of Maketa's calls, even if they're being funded by public monies, and I'm still waiting on a call back from the Colorado Department of State. And because I'm a crappy reporter, I gave the Indy a call to tip them on this, so here's hoping they can root something out. I'm a fan of scandals involving high-ranking unpopular Republicans, as are we all, and hopefully there's something shady afoot that will further soil Newsome's big drunk face.

For those of you were wondering ...

The late, great George Carlin was born May 12, 1937 ...

... which makes him nearly a year younger than John "Highlander" McCain, who was born on August 29, 1936.

I'm quite surprised that Things Younger Than John McCain hasn't picked up on this yet.