NEWSPEAK Blog

He's just a hate-filled guy that got lucky.

I can't find a direct embed for it, but please do watch the first six or so minutes of this episode of the Daily Show, where Jon Stewart takes on local beloved fundotard James Dobson. PWNED!

Define "crazy."

If you haven't seen it yet, here's the trailer for Bill Maher's Religulous, which basically asks the question, "What the fuck is wrong with these people?"

Now, I'm mixed about Maher. Sure, he's all smarm, but he's got some nads on 'im, going after not just fundamentalists but the entire concept of faith—and isn't it about time that a personality, rather than some schmancy-pants atheist scholar, is attacking the core of religion, saying, "Wait a goddamn minute. You believe what and you're running my country?"

Posted without comment.

Focus reprioritizes?

Today was the first day of legalized gay marriage in California, and Focus responded by ... saying it's not that big a deal? Whuzzuh?

As the first same-sex "wedding" takes place in California today, it's important to put things into perspective.

"God is not having an anxiety attack over same-sex 'marriage,' " said Peter Brandt, senior director of government and public policy at Focus on the Family Action.

Ron Prentice, executive director of the California Family Council, said God is raising up a new generation of leaders.

"While homosexual couples take brief advantage of the California Supreme Court’s abuse of power, more than 1,000 California pastors are responding to their call to shepherd," he said.

"On June 25, more than 50 churches across the state will host gatherings for pastors, informing them of what is at stake in California and nationally, and providing strategy for the coming months."

Prentice said he is encouraged because California voters will have the last word in November, when they vote on a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as between one man and one woman.

To their credit, it must be tough, what with the increasing tolerance of Americans, and the California decision was just one of many legislative defeats Focus and the fundotards have faced in recent years and months. But for them to advise likeminded conservatives to bide their time is uncharacteristic for an organization as vocal as Focus. Perhaps those in charge are realizing how completely and totally out of touch they are? And that, in order to survive, they must slob the liberal—or at least tolerant—knob a bit, work that broad-minded shaft, cup those moderate balls, in order to get the payoff: liters of creamy white life-giving tithe. You think?

Here's a video about that very thing.

Tender reminiscence of a horrible asshole.

Thank you so much, Citizen Link, for sending me snippets from Jerry Falwell: His Life and Legacy, in which Falwell's moon-faced widow shares her memories of Jerry.

1. What is your husband’s legacy?

Accomplishing as much as the Lord let him accomplish, with having the school and the church and the college and law school.

2. How did you and your husband meet?

Jerry was with a gang of boys, one of them said something about a church and one of the guys spoke up and said, “Well, I know a church that has a lot of good-looking girls.” Jerry and his friend came to our church. It was really filled that night, so the only place they had seats were on the front row. (Jerry) pointed to my friend and said, “I’ll take her.” And his friend, Jim, pointed to me and said, “I’ll take her.” Well, it ended up the opposite way. And so we met that night. I was engaged at the time, but he didn’t let that hinder him at all. He just started trying to get a date, and finally we started dating. (The other couple also got married.)

3. What was it like being Jerry’s wife for 49 years? What’s your favorite memory?

He was such a great father and husband. Anything that any of us said we’d like to do, he’d say, “Oh, when do you want to leave?” He was just so good to the children.

He took them on their birthdays anywhere they wanted to go. They knew they came first in his life after God. The secretary was supposed to mark the birthdays; Jerry wanted to spend the day with the kids. (With) Jonathan, they realized they hadn’t marked that off, and Jerry had to go somewhere to speak. So Jerry took Jonathan aside and said, “Now, Jonathan, I’m supposed to speak in a certain town. I’ll do one of two things. I will stay with you, or I will go to the speaking engagement, and if they give me an honorarium, it’ll be yours. You can have every bit of it." Jonathan thought a few minutes (and) said, “Well, Dad, I’d rather have you.” So, Jerry called and got somebody to replace him.

The same thing happened with Jeannie one time, and he had to go to the White House. He told Jeannie to tell him what she wanted. And so he just said (to the White House), “I can’t come.”

He never brought any of his problems home to us; everything was just perfect. Every night, he’d go to each child’s room to pray with them even if they weren’t awake. He just was a wonderful father.

4. What was the most difficult part about being in the limelight, especially when the media did so much to denigrate your husband?

I never was in the limelight. I never liked to speak in public or anything like that; that was not my thing.

I didn’t let (the criticism) bother me. Jerry would say, “Don’t pay any attention to anything. Everything’s OK.” So I really never did. He shielded me from all of that.

I thought with the book, I could share my memories and let people see he really was a man of great love and compassion.

5. You and Jerry have certainly demonstrated that God can use ordinary people. What encouragement would you give to our readers?

Jerry loved people so much, and nothing bothered him. He invited a young man to come to church and he said, “I don’t have any shoes.” And Jerry says, “Well, what size do you wear?” He says, “I wear 11 and a half.” And Jerry says, “That’s exactly what I wear.” He took his shoes off and gave them to the young man and came home with just socks on. And he would do things like that because he loved people, and he wanted help everybody he was around.

Everybody knew they were loved because Jerry would show them and he’d give everything away. I got him an expensive overcoat, and he wore it twice. It was really cold outside and I said, “Jerry, where is your coat? I know. You gave it away, right?” And he had, and that’s the way he felt about people. If he had money in his pocket and he’d see anybody he thought needed it, he’d pass it to them.

If I let him do it, I guess we’d probably have nothing 'cause he’d give it all away.

Awww. Here's my tender memory of that fat fuck:

From the Sex Issue

By popular demand, here's one of the features from the June print issue, a polemic on teenage girls and blowjobbery as filtered through the lens of a book called Restless Virgins. This article, more than any in the issue, has drawn some very strong opinions. Find it in its entirety after the jump.

Hilarious Gazette letter of the Day.

From yesterday's paper, concerning the passing of Colorado Senate Bill 200 (the "Restroom Bill"):

SB200 is called the expansion of discrimination prohibition. It is misnamed. It should be called the "discrimination against people of faith who dare to follow God and their conscience rather than the gay agenda" law.

Sorta wordy, no? But what a great propaganda campaign!

Read the rest here.

Sex Issue out today!

Our June issue is being distributed right now. We've got a lovely cover by Richard Arnot as well as a whole lot of provoc-alicious sex content, including many, many sex stories, some great and insightful features and the print debut of Jay Schwan's Musical Confessions column, in which he tells you how much he loves Mogwai. Huzzah! We've also got the fun feature below, which looks a little blurry in the print edition because our printer sort of sucks at printing. Enjoy, and pick it up at the usual spots!

Focus outdoes itself. Yet again.

I just got the following press release from Citizen Link, which you can read in full here:

The next time you visit Colorado, you may run into members of the opposite sex when you use a public restroom.

Under a bill sitting on Gov. Bill Ritter's desk, all "public accommodations" must be open to men, women, bisexuals, transsexuals and "transgendered" individuals.

Senate Bill 200 adds religion and sexual orientation to state nondiscrimination statutes. Supporters claim the bill will prevent discrimination; in reality, the bill endangers religious freedom by opening the door for the state to punish any person or organization — including small and home-based businesses — that refuses, for religious or other moral reasons, to offer or sell goods or services to homosexuals, bisexuals, 'transgendered' and transsexual individuals.

Focus on the Family Action began airing radio ads today to inform Coloradans about this over-reaching bill.

SB 200 would:

Apply to all "public accommodations" in Colorado — including gender-specific public restrooms in shopping malls, movie theaters and churches, and public locker rooms in athletic facilities, which would suddenly be required to permit equal access to men, women and cross-dressers.
Require churches or other religious nonprofits that rent facilities to the public to also rent to individuals conducting a same-sex "commitment ceremony" or other activities the organization deems immoral.
"With SB 200, we no longer have two 'sexes,' " said Bruce Hausknecht, judicial analyst for Focus on the Family Action. "We enter a brave new world with a myriad of 'sexual orientations.' This bill, unfortunately, is in keeping with a national effort by 'transgender' advocacy organizations to accomplish an open-bathroom policy."

There's no consideration that being transgender or transex means that you don't consider yourself to adhere to your physical sex or gender of birth, of course, and that trans individuals would feel largely more out of place in such a restroom. Basically, Focus' reaction to SB 200—which is by any measure a way to provide equal facilities to every person living in Colorado—sheer puerile, schoolyard panic that can be boiled down to this:

Visit the Citizen Link release here and be sure to listen to the radio ad that Focus is airing (which contains the line, "Mooooom! A man in a dress came into the girls' restroom at school today!") if you doubt that Focus will soon be waging rhetorical media wars on the cootie.

Christian TV host comes out of the closet

If you've been browsing HuffPo today, you easily could have missed the link to a story in Out & About Newspaper about Christian TV host Azariah Southworth coming out of the closet amongst the many, many, many, many rants about just how bad last night's debate was. P.S., be sure to read the comments for your RDA of guano:

Wow, people like YOU make MY World inch closer and closer and closer each minute to the END - and I do not appreciate that. Right is Right and Wrong is Wrong - there is NO in between.