NEWSPEAK Blog

If there is awesomer news than this, I'd like to know what it is.

Declassified documents reveal that Julia Child was a spy for the OSS. No. Fucking. Way.

Today in cool ideas.

I just got an email from a woman named Esther who runs a clothing company in Woodland Park called Use Small Words who print neat-looking fashion-y shirts with authors' quotes. Like this:

And this:

And my personal fave (because, duh, of the unicorn):

I urge all ya'll to check out the site and support them—they're fun, literate and literary, and don't we know we need a whole lot more of that in local business.

Krazy Klosure Monday!

So. News of two closures today. First, we can rejoice that some crappy art is going away.

Then, hats off to Palapa's Surfside, the chain that never was or will be.

Know your rights.

These are absolutely required viewing. Here are Professor James Duane and Officer George Bruch, talking about why you should never, ever talk to the police, under any circumstances. It's about 45 minutes long, so take a long lunch at your desk and learn.

And yes, hater, I did get this from BoingBoing. Nya!

A preview from the September issue.

Above is me at Eleven Mile, doing "research" for the Indoorsman's Guide to the Outdoors. Even if you can't see it, know that I am soaked to the bone, my palms are bloodied, I'm limping and my line is probably tangled around a tree limb somewhere. I suck at fly-fishing. (But still: Best. Day. Ever.)

Here's hoping it's a lot like Oz.

Well, hello. Is there a certain horrible fuck that you'd enjoy sending to jail? There is? And is that horrible fuck Karl Rove? It is? Quelle chance!

Well, I suggest you get over to Send Karl Rove To Jail and sign their petition, which will be presented to the House Judiciary Committee and try to get them to hold him in contempt.

As far as I can tell, the site launched this morning and has already gotten 30,000 signatures. Add yours!

Upcoming Newspeak Events

Saturday July 19th:   Book Club
Book club is meeting Saturday at 10am at my house (828 N. Wahsatch Ave) to finish our discussion on Tree of Smoke by Dennis Johnson. As like last time there will be food and beverages.

Sunday July 20th: Pride Ride
Meet at Rubbish Gallery at 9am for a Bloody Mary and a zombie makeup party courtesy of Zeezo's! (Please wear your own zombified clothes).

At 10:30, we'll ride to the start point at Cache Le Poudre and Tejon then ride in the parade back down to Acacia Park.


Thursday July 24th: Newspeak Happy Hour!
The second Newspeak Happy Hour is taking place at 4pm at Triple Nickel (26 S. Wahsatch).
- Half priced beer
- Newspeak trivia

See you there!

Sometimes the grass is greener because you water it.

(Warning: Do not attempt stunning metaphors like the one in the title. I am a trained professional writer.)

I spent a lovely, weirdly humid weekend in Albuquerque and was able to avail myself of some of the fantastic public facilities there, like ...

1) Natural History Museum. Space and dinosaurs rule.

2) Albuquerque Aquarium. Sharks are unequivocally awesome.

3) Rio Grande Botanic Gardens. Plants=kick-ass.

All of these are publicly owned facilities, and we've got nothing like them. We are more or less a museumless town (both Pioneers and Western Museum of Mining and Industry are fun day trips, but let's face it—they don't exactly draw folks from miles around: "Oooooh! Pyrite!") They exist, by and large, because public monies were allocated to fund their existence. They are inexpensive to enter and exceedingly popular; even in the midday heat, the Botanic Gardens were crawling. Why do we have nothing like them? Because we don't want to pay for it.

Not even the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo has the public's support. The referendum to give it increased funding was shot down by huge margins. And until we're able to overcome our disdain for public funding for arts, culture and attractions, we'll always be a second-class city. That's the sad, sad truth.

Yes, facilities like Albuquerque's Natural History Museum have corporate sponsors, as well, like Sandia Labs, who gave a ton of money for the Museum's Triassic exhibit. (And why are companies like Sandia there? Because ABQ has been adept at fostering the creative class. Doi.) But public monies are there, and few people are griping about having to pay for cool things. It's not a slippery slope, kids. Our city may be broke, but that's because we are, by and large, funding the wrong things: things like subsidized sprawl.

We're a city going through its adolescence. I think the antitax, antigay, conservatard '90s were our whiny, stompy teens. It's time for all of us to grow the hell up and start looking toward what will, in the long term, make us sustainable. That means growing out of our selfishness.

Where's Lee Greenwood today?

Every Independence Day, only question comes into mind: Where is the most patriotic American, a true hero, the person who had the courage to write "God Bless the USA"? Where is Lee Greenwood today?

Last year, he was at Disneyland, performing for some Ra-Ra America event. But it looks like General Lee's star has indeed fallen, what with the gays gettin murried and the Mexicans and whatnot, because instead of the Happiest Place on Earth, he'll be at some place called the Wharf in Orange Beach, AL. The Wharf? That doesn't sound classy, Lee!

But wait a cotton-pickin' minute: Lee is playing an event called Fourth at the Wharf (that rhymes!), and it turns out the Wharf is actually a massive complex that boasts:

"Find everything you'd expect in a luxury resort at The Wharf. Take a stroll down Main Street where you can shop 'til you drop; Enjoy a decadent meal at one of our many fine restaurants; Ride our 112' Ferris wheel, the tallest in the Southeast; Catch a concert at the 10,000-seat Amphitheater; Go fishing; Take a bike ride; Relax around The Oasis; Play a round of golf; Or simply do nothing at all. Whatever you're looking for, you can find it at The Wharf."

Stop 'til you drop? Relax? Do nothing? Whatever I'm looking for? Awesome! What if what I'm looking for is to NOT SEE LEE GREENWOOD? Can you offer that, the Wharf? No? Huh. You should probably consider it, since he's looking more and more like Gollum these days and will probably frighten the children.

"Tricksy liberals!"

Anyway, that's where Lee is today. The following two videos are to help you decide what's better—"God Bless the USA" set to a 9/11-themed laser light show, or "God Bless the USA" as performed by a closet case in a high school jazz band? Which would make Thomas Jefferson more proud?

Let's do Mondays!

The news!

"Greetings, Americans." The United States sent a whole crap-ton of food to North Korea after North Korea effectively curbed their nuclear program, helping open up diplomatic relations between our countries. "I so ronery," said Kim Jong Il. "I can has legacy?" said President Bush.

I DO NOT LIKE MY MITTENS McCain's top veep choice? Mitt Romney. There he goes, pandering to the "don't-call-your-wife-a-trollop-faced-cunt" vote.

Directive? The weekend box office was creamed by WALL-E—which, yes, might just be the best movie ever. For serious:

The new Pixar picture Wall-E is one for the ages, a masterpiece to be savored before or after the end of the world -- assuming, like the title character, you’re still around when all the humans have taken off and have access to an old video player.—David Edelstein, New York Magazine

...[a] loud and damning indictment of consumerism.—Chris Barsanti, PopMatters

Triumphant and teary-eyed, WALL-E withstands its mellifluous moments with a welcomed surge of honesty, impishness and introspection...smart, heart-warming and savvy in its observational radar.—Frank Ochieng, Movie Eye

(All of these reviews are much more articulate than mine, which consisted mainly of snuffling and not being able to open my mouth for fear that I'd burst into tears. Meanwhile, I was thinking They rediscovered art! THEY REDISCOVERED ART! It really is a near-flawless film. Go see it right now. Seriously.)

And the 'Zette runs yet another insightful hed:

And here's a picture of an adorable space robot: