So I can say with some reliability that the recently-departed Mark Arnest will not be replaced at the 'Zette. Instead, they're going to be farming out reviews and arts features to freelancers.
This both a good and bad thing. Good in that they'll get some new voices over there. Bad in that, without any sort of institutional backing, the reviews won't have a whole lot of credibility. What do you kids think?
So, another Gazette staffer has left, this time voluntarily and this time for the plush, rollin-in-dough world of the performing arts nonprofit. Got a press release this morning telling me that Mark Arnest, the 'Zette's best and most knowledgeable arts critic, is now the new director of marketing for the Colorado Springs Philharmonic.
This is the worst blow the paper's gotten since intrepid religion reporter Paul Asay left to be a movie reviewer/cuss-counter for Focus on the Family. And Arnest is leaving a big hole behind him.
This is The Daily Show at their best, taking the media, the Obama campaign and "VOOOOLF BLEETZAAAH" to task over their response to the New Yorker cover picturing Barack and Michelle as terrorists:
For the record, I did find that Obama cover, incredibly, insanely offensive. But then again, I'm used to the New Yorker cover art offending me. Just look at this stuff!
Tasteless, all of it! And don't you even get me started on Sempé—there's a special place in hell for that bastard.
You probably didn't know that a small indie movie called The Incredible Hulk is opening today, because there's been next to no marketing for it and it features a completely unknown cast of actors, like Edward Norton, Liv Tyler and another young talent named Robert Downey, Jr. Let's check out these unsung performers in action:
Interesting! Let's hope that this movie, without any marketing backing or a large built-in audience, can go the distance. It's always nice to see an underdog arrive on the scene.
I wrote earlier this week about the Onion movie, which came out on DVD on Tuesday and which I saw yesterday. I was, sadly, sort of excited for what turned out to be one of the worst movies ever.
The first clue to its impending suckitude should have been the preceding trailers, which included Epic Movie. And the feature seemed very much in that same vein; like a 90-minute-long Mad TV sketch, it was just wrong. Wrong, like easy, and terribly unfunny, the same way that Larry the Cable Guy is unfunny and easy. And what's worse, it was nearly opposite in tone to the actual Onion—ham-handed where the Onion is subtle, conservative where the Onion is progressive, loud and stupid where the Onion mocks loudness and stupidity. And seriously, the folks who are the regular butt of the Onion's social satire—mass consumers, racists, popped-collared retards—were clearly the people by whom this movie was written and to whom it's being marketed. Just execrable. This is a clip from the movie.
Compare that slackjawed hilarity (HE DONE GOT HIS WEINER STUCK IN SOMETHIN!) to this, which manages to be both funny and incisive:
Home Depot Honors Fallen Soldiers With Great Prices On Tools
All I can say is that I hope the real Onion made a fucking fortune off this, and that the people who wrote and produced this movie never work again.
Got word today that Colorado Confidential, now under the guidance of former CS Indy editor and veteran newshound Cara De Gette, officially changed their name to the Colorado Independent. They've got a slick new site and seems like they're pulling from a wider array of political blogs. They're still not-for-profit and still operated by the Center for Independent Media, so the site re-name doesn't look like it has anything to do with our local Independent. But Cara must certainly feel right at home.
Anyway, congrats on the great new site. As soon as you need some hard-hitting, journalistic-ethics-packed reporting on puppies who sound like they're barking "Elmo! Elmo!" you know where to come.
This is awesome—well, not the boy getting mauled part, but the "unknown animal" part:
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A large animal attacked a 5-year-old boy hiking with his family, seriously injuring him with puncture wounds to the head, neck and back, authorities said.The boy, Jose Salazar Jr., was hiking near Sandia Peak and had run ahead of his parents on Saturday evening when they heard a scream, Bernalillo County Sheriff Darren White said.
The boy's parents, Jose and Charlotte Salazar, saw the animal emerge from the brush and start dragging away their son, White said. The father tried to jump on the animal's back, and it let go of the boy and fled.
White said Sunday that the animal was a mountain lion, but Ross Morgan, a spokesman for the state Department of Game and Fish, said dogs trained to track mountain lions picked up no scent in the area Saturday night or Sunday.
The sheriff's report said the father could not say what type of animal attacked the child because it happened so fast.
Jose was hospitalized in serious condition Saturday, White said. A hospital spokeswoman said Monday the family declined to make the boy's condition public.
So what was it, if not a mountain lion? A bear? Sasquatch? Harry (of ... and the Hendersons)? Nay! Nay! I say thee nay! It was, of course ...
... La Chupacabra!
Aieeeeeee!
We attended the Gazette''s Best Of party last night and were humbled to surprised to learn that Newspeak was honored with an award, namely "Best Place to See A Risqué Ad." We hereby accept this honor and express heartfelt thanks. We are so pleased to know you are paying attention to our advertising, if not our, er, content.
Oh, and here's the new ad we're doing for the Convention and Visitors Bureau. Mrow!
While KOAA was breaking the John Newsome scandal, KRDO shows us that their news can still be sensationalist and silly, when they investigated yesterday—and I am so not making this up—whether crossing the road is dangerous.
COLORADO SPRINGS - Crosswalks are supposed to be obvious, but many wonder if crosswalk signs are enough to warn drivers and pedestrians.In November, a Colorado College student was hit crossing a crosswalk near campus. Three months later, in March, a Palmer High School teacher was hit crossing in a downtown Colorado Springs crosswalk.
NEWSCHANNEL 13 wants to know why your safety is at risk when crossing the road.
"It's really scary trying to get across," one Colorado College student says.
We've definitely discussed this topic here before. But I'm so very glad that NEWSCHANNEL 13 is devoting their energies to an investigative report.
You know what? I'm going to conduct my own investigative report right now. Be right back.
The results: I just went out and crossed the road four times, from the southwest corner of Bijou and Tejon to the southeast corner, to the northeast corner, to the northwest and finally back to the southwest. I was not hit by a car once. This is probably because I did not rocket across the road on my longboard, but instead waited for the walk signs. While I waited, I sat in the sun and smoked a cigarette (yes, I'm smoking again). It was actually pretty nice. The niceness was compounded by the not getting hit by cars, which I was able to do by paying attention to my surroundings.
So, the verdict: Is crossing the road dangerous? Yes, very. Even though I was not hit by a car, it doesn't mean that you won't be. The important thing is that you're afraid of everything, all the time, and that you tune in to NEWSCHANNEL 13 every night for new things to be afraid of. Good night, and good luck.
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