NEWSPEAK Blog

Big Blue

Just watched this documentary about New York City handball. It's about six years old and I don't know where to rent it, but if you're into sports culture or sports subcultures you've gotta see this shit. Sadly, someone I play with lent the film to me so I don't know where to get it.

If you like movies about New York this is about as unpretentious as they get. And while this film could be critiqued on many levels - not a single woman player in it and they're a big part of the handball scene in New York — it's so good I watched it twice. Then again, I've been at the courts almost every day so it serves as pornography. But.... but... the older players in the film are so damn "I coulda been a contenda" that it's as much a midlife crisis movie as you can get without actually casting Kevin Costner.

Watch the trailer and read this Village Voice story on it. Oh, and Noel Black: this is why handball is cooler than racquetball.

RacquetBloggers In Your Face, Bitch

Racquetball is like, how to put it? ... Gangster tennis. You can be fat as fuck or 75 years old, half-crippled, gay, retarded, asshole (required) or dead and still kick ass (or suck) with little more than a Y membership, a headband, a decent pair of court shoes and a racquet. Let's say $150-$200 to get started and an extra $50-$75/mo from there on out just for the membership. It's got all the strings of a snob hobby attainable on a thug's budget.

Now, I don't know what it is about racquetball and blogging, but some motherfuckin bloggers are all up in them courts:

John Dicker, who taught me how to play and blogs here at the TP regularly, is now fat and out of shape and, frankly, more of a racquetbitch* than a racquetballer. But there was a time when he spanked me unmerciless and taught me that it's really all about humiliating your opponent.

John Sondericker, aka Non-Prophet is a former tennis fag who thinks he's all that and a splat shot cuz he beat me 2 out of 3 the other night when I forgot my glasses. Yeah, he's got a racquet sack, but just wait til Thursday night when I get my new rec specs on, bitch.*

Dan Savage, noted sex columnist, Editor of The Stranger and blogger at SLOG is gay, and gay for racquetball (as is his blogging cohort Eli Sanders):

I had just finished playing racquetball with Eli Sanders—despite the fact that I am considerably older, gayer, asthmatic, and recently broke a toe on my left foot, I beat Eli three straight games ...

Check this out from Gimpsoft Blog

Hanging out with Kansas City Bloggers tonight before racquetball. We're meeting for dinner, so I'm going to have to figure out something cajun that I can eat that won't completely destroy my racquetball game. Maybe just a cup of gumbo or something.

And this from Mountain Cabin Blog

I did wake up sweating this morning so I'm hoping this illness is almost gone. I'm going to play racquetball tonight with my step-dad so I'm hoping to sweat out the rest of it on the court.

Or this post from the fedoraforum.com staff blog.

Or how about Joe's New Jersey Racquetball Blog, hmmm?

Point is, I invented the neologism "racquetblogger" AND I'm gonna kick all you racquetbloggers asses, not to mention talking shit about you regularly.* Non-Prophet, you're next when I four-eye your face on Thursday night!

Dicker, I'm gonna play racquetball with your toothless Chihuahua.

Savage: two thumb's down.

*(Disclaimer: Any shit-talking I've done about John Dicker and/or Non-Prophet should in no way affect our future plans to form a racquetblogger gang to challenge Savage, Sanders and Tim Keck -- publisher of the Stranger -- to a racquetblogger smackdown at a date TBD in, we hope, Provo Utah. I think Dicker is already drafting a formal challenge, aren't you Dicker? Websieeete!).