NEWSPEAK Blog

Today in simulated urination. Finally!

Meet Super Pii Pii, a game for the Wii console during which you the player tries to get a never-ending stream of urine into three different toilets without spilling anything.

Dear Noel,

Posted on behalf of my good friend, Eric Whitney

No wading here, either!

Fountain problems notwithstanding, A the B does have pretty cool urinals.

Urinals at the Moscow Airport

Coutesy of Eric Whitney:

New issue out tomorrow!

The High School Issue hits stands tomorrow. We've got tons of content by local high school kids, an amazing and really disturbing Biblical tract cartoon, plus all the regular features you know and love/hate/are indifferent about, printed on brightly-colored, easy-to-turn pages in 10-point font.

And, oh—if you're wondering if we've "made it," we totally have. I refer you to our mention in the Indy's Annual Manual, complete with incorrect web address, no street address and no phone number. But hey, considering how much we fuck with them, it's just desserts, I guess.

And hey, whiners, I resized this for you. Go-go dialup!

Pee shy?

I'm not sure how I feel about this or where it came from, but this seems just the thing to upset a few of you:

More weird urinals here

I'll See Your Stupid Urinals and Raise You an Incoherent Bathroom Sign

Who knew that cold water could also be very hot?

The beauty in the Post Street Theater

I saw this object of beauty when my lovely girlfriend surprised me with tickets to the opening night of "One-man Star Wars Trilogy," a play in which Charles Ross reenacts all three of the original Star Wars movies. From the unmistakable 20th Century Fox theme to the happy end, he makes all the sound effects, runs around as space ships, and performs all the characters. Fucking hilarious. The fantastic night was capped off when this greeted me in the Gentlemens Lounge of San Francisco's Post Street Theater. Happy ending indeed!

Stock market crashes; thanks a ton, Cheney.

Due in part to the Afghan bombing this morning that failed to topple the Evil One, the 9 percent drop of the Chinese market and various other factors, the Dow dropped 416 points today—the biggest NYSE hit since September 11. And, to borrow a phrase from Wonkette, Cheney hasn't looked this pleased with himself since he shot that lawyer.

a few more toilets

I'm trying to get the missus to add this to her line:

Some more toilet etiquette: