NEWSPEAK Blog

Tooth Fairy Love

Ursen composed this note to the Tooth Fairy upon losing his first top front tooth:

Trans: "Dear Tooth Fairy I think you are as close to my tooth as my heart."

!!

T-Shirts Based On The Wisdom Of Ursen

Ursen has inspired me. Sorry about the terrible Photoshops, I thought I'd get these posted quickly while I was in the moment. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, see the previous post, "DIY Issue Out Today." Ursen's column ROCKS.

Noel, make these up for sale. I want 10%.

My favorite:

Pics from Ursen's Show

Click on the photo below for a slideshow:

You know what would be weird?

Driving north on I-25 tonight:

Ursen: "Do you know what would be weird?"

Me: "What?"

Ursen: "If the Japanese army attacked a dummy that was nude."

Me: "Yes, that would be weird."

Ursen: "Yeah, that would be soooo weird."

Save the Date

An Overlooked Plank in the Platform of Any Candidate Who Really Wants to Win

While listening to me watch the Obama Superbowl ad (below), Ursen said:

"I want the opportunity to have thousands of months off of school. We actually NEED the opportunity. I bet you'd actually be a full-sized grown man by then."

Me: "Yeah, but what if you didn't know anything?"

"Well, I know thousands of pieces of math. I did a hundred percent. Now THAT is a record! Don't even ask me what that thing includes."

See for yourself how much stronger Obama's campaign could be with Ursen on staff:

The Age of Rock Has Arrived

Lucky 7: Happy Birthday Ursen

7 was a good year for me. I rode a bike without training wheels for the first time. I remember riding through the yard on Modoc and telling my mom to "let go!" when she already had. It was pretty cool.

Happy Birthday Ursen!

Love,
Uncle Josh

Ursen's Column: August

Aaron decided that the really lame Mr. Wiggles comic this month was more important to run that Ursen's Column, which has been on hiatus during our summer "adult-themed" issues. Well, here it is as a blog exclusive for this month's Rock n Roll issue at the request of lots of folks along today's distribution route. Onjoi:

Ursen's Column, August 2007

What do you like about music?

I like that, well, I don't really know what I like about music; it's just is this thing that I like about it.

What does it make you feel when you listen to music?

Well it's the same thing with the other question: I don't really know the question that you're asking.

What kinds of things do you feel, then?

I feel like I just like it for some reason.

What's your favorite music?

My favorite music is Psychosoniks [sic].

What kind of music is it?

It's fast music. It has these rhythmy beats. The words go really really fast so you don't exactly know what it's saying: you just like the music.

What other music do you like?

I haven't seen the other choices that I couldn't even have as a favorite music.

Let's talk about what you did this summer.

I have been hanging out with my family. I've been getting new things. Last night I watched the movie Jumanji. I'm having a good summer and I'm glad I'm going to be back in school soon.

You went to a couple camps.

I went to zoo camp and I went to this camp called Fun Quest. I got to make very fun things. I really enjoyed zoo camp too. I went to feed the giraffes and I slept over at the zoo. And when I was shaking my Teddy bear at the lion's cage, the mama lion pawed at the glass and the mama also pawed at one of the kids and pawed at me too. My mom and dad were afraid because there was broken glass in one corner of the window.

What were some of the things you did at Fun Quest?

I made lanyard animals. I made lizards and I made fun creatures and geckos and iguanas. I got to go on lots of trips. I got to go to Buckskin Joe's, the County Fair, the Olympic Training Center. We got to go to Fountain Creek Nature Center. We got to go to a lot of places. I remember when I had this friend and his name was Fletcher. He always wanted to play with me, except for sometimes.

Did you get in trouble at all?

I a little bit got in trouble, but sometimes I snuck out of trouble. It was really fun. And the funny thing was that I hid in the costume basket.

I heard a story about you going into the girl's bathroom. Is that true?

No, I was just saying "boo" to them when they got out.

You're going to be in first grade this year. What do you think that's going to be like?

I don't know. It's going to be a little different. But I get to visit Miss Paula's kindergarten class to read them stories. I think it's gonna be like being with new friends.

What do you plan on learning?

I plan on learning stuff like psychology and something like science cuz I'm really interested in things that I really want to know about. Once I learn how to do new things, I'm gonna get really excited about even newer things.

Congratualtions Ursen!

Ursen graduates kindergarten today. Congratulations!