NEWSPEAK Blog

Matt Taibbi on the Daily Show ...

I like Matt Taibbi. I like the Daily Show. I am pleased.

Leaning In With Drinks

My friend Kit has started a blog that I consider to be one of the shining examples of what blogs can be beyond notification and opinion boards. It's called Leaning in With Drinks and is devoted to "EXAMINING THE TENDENCY OF LEANING TO ONE SIDE AS SOMEONE TAKES A PHOTOGRAPH WHEN ONE HAS RECENTLY BEEN OR IS CURRENTLY DRINKING SOMETHING".

Pictures like this:

Examine them for yourself. It's a truly rewarding and insightful way of feeling even more absurd than you likely do already!

Yes, I'm actually going to read poems tonight

At the invitation of Aaron Anstett, I reluctantly agreed to read for 10-15 minutes along with a group of others tonight at 7 p.m. at the East Library out on Union. See you there ... er, maybe.

Who Wants Some?

Anyone who rides a bike on city streets in COS with any regularity knows the experience of being harassed in some form or another by dickwicks in automobiles. There's probably some pop-psych explanation for why certain people feel so terribly insecure/threatened by bicycles while they're driving. The terrible inconvenience of having to move the steering wheel one inch to the left, perhaps?

On my way home this afternoon I got harassed by some youngins in a shitty burgundy Buick Skylark with one of those tiny spare tires on the front right (classy!). They had to stop at a stop sign (gasp!) because I had the right of way on Pikes Peak Ave on the west side. After I'd passed, the young driver leaned out his window and called me a faggot. I slowed down, turned, smiled and pleasantly told him to fuck himself. Then I gave him the thumbs up and proceeded on my way.

At the next corner I noticed that Buick and the Skylarks had hastily circled the block to greet me. So, having recently watched Army of Darkness about seven times with Ursen, I got off my bike, spread my arms out wide and said the only appropriate thing I could think of: "Who wants some?" Picture me, if you will, faggot that I am, in my blue and white gingham shirt, pale tan cords and Camper shoes, menacing these poor youths with my best Bruce Campbell impersonation. "YOU want some?" I said pointing at the driver who'd offended my delicate sensibilities. "Come on!" Amazingly, he got really scared as his pals hid their faces from my gaze. Then he peeled out, chirping that little spare tire as he tore off toward the middle of the next block before he leaned out his window and, once again, called me a faggot.

Thank you for shopping at S-Mart indeed!

Farewell Brian's Bike Shop!

As some or many of you may already know, Brian's Bike Shop closed last week. No word on exactly why other than it appears to have something to do with the coming gentrification of the area near the traintracks (but that's hearsay).

We featured Brian in our Bicycle Issue last year. He's not an uncontroversial figure; business seldom got in the way of his opinions. But for those who took the time to get to know him, his sometimes prickly demeanor always gave way to the fairness and big-heartedness that lay beneath. Not only that, but he's just about the best and most caring bike mechanic anywhere, which can sometimes be an obstacle to survival as a business person (as some of us well know). The loss of little independent businesses in funky old buildings (how many bike shops are in old grain elevators or have wood burning stoves!?) is to be expected in the unforgiving cheaper=better world we now live in, but no less devastating. If you still have a bike at Brian's be sure to give him a call at 634-6099 and he'll be sure to get it back to you. No word on what he'll do next.

If you want to read the interview I did with him last fall it's posted after the jump.

Good luck, Brian!

DeGette on the Douchin' of CO's 'Tution

If you're a government wonk, or even if you aren't in this case, check out Cara DeGette's great piece on how amazingly easy it is to amend Colorado's constitution over at Colorado Confidential.

Because it is so easy to change, Colorado's 131-year-old constitition is the third longest in the country -- and 10 times longer than the United States Constitution."

Lots of lawmakers are now proposing various legislation that seeks to get it undouched. Let's lop off TABOR first!

WTF is up with Colorado Springs right now?

Is it the cabin fever after a long, dry, bitter winter?

Is it the economy and its many downtown casualties?

Is it the media deprivation hangover after so many New Life scandals?

Is it the realization that even if Dennis Kucinich's wife wins the presidency (naked) this coming November that we'll still be fucked?

Is it that Doug Bruce left us for Denver?

Is it that they just cordoned off the parking lot for People's Bank at the corner of Cascade and Bijou so you can't park there while you get drunk at the C anymore?

Is it Hillary?

Barack?

Is it John Dicker's chihuhuas and whatever the hell Stanley is?

Is it the sad reaization that, yes, Cowboys IS coming downtown after all those years out east?

Is it the lingering doubts we ALL have about the sky bridge slated to span Colorado Avenue from the new parking garage to the Lorig's building? lt's not something you can just "blow up" after all.

Is it that we all know deep down in our heart of hearts that things will never truly be the same after Tejon Street goes both ways?

Is it that Old Heidelberg Bakery is going away?

Shocking News!

Get out your Depends: "City boards largely white, male".

Apropos of Our Homeless Issue

The New York Times reports today that attacks on the homeless by young people are on the rise.

In Fort Lauderdale a group of teenagers captured national attention in 2006 when a surveillance camera caught one laughing as he beat a homeless man with a baseball bat. The teenagers attacked three homeless men that night and face a murder trial in one man’s death. A year later in Daytona Beach, a 17-year-old and two 10-year-olds attacked a homeless Army veteran. One 10-year-old dropped a cement block on the man’s face, the police said.

“What could possibly be in the mind of a 10- or 12-year-old that would possess them to pick up a rock and pick up a brick and beat another human being in the head?” said Ron Book, chairman of the Miami-Dade County Homeless Trust. “It defies any rational thought process, but it’s also why we felt so strongly we had to do something.”

The trust has teamed with the local schools to develop a curriculum for elementary, middle and high schools teaching respect for the homeless.

Advocates for the homeless blame a society that they say shuns the homeless through laws that criminalize sleeping in parks, camping and begging.

“I think it reflects a lack of respect for the homeless that has reached such extreme proportions that homeless people aren’t viewed as people,” said Maria Foscarinis, executive director of the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty.

A warning to those young people who are both callous enough and dumb enough to beat/kill the homeless: you will be welcomed with all the warm feelings reserved for child molesters when you get to jail! Keep in mind that lots of folks in prison have spent time on the streets themselves and know what it's like.

Bad Mexican Cab Karma

So I'm in Mexico City. I was planning to post a bunch of pictures of my travels, including candid photos from my flight from Phoenix of a woman's laptop screen a few rows in front of me that contained a really horrible chick-lit novel she was writing it en route. I also planned to blog several photos of monolithic Mexican sex club billboards (about 6 times the height of your average American billboard) that I took in the cab from the airport to my friend Daniel's apartment. Despite having a clear recollection of putting the camera back in my bag as I exited the cab, when I went to get it this morning it wasn't there.

Last time I came to Mexico City in 2000, Marina was pregnant with Ursen and we made the mistake of taking an unregistered cab to our hotel in the city center and getting charged almost a hundred dollars for the 15 minute ride.

Fortunately, this time I actually got a registered cab and wrote down the cab number so we'll see if my camera turns up (we've got a call in, and my friend assures me that if they find it we'll get it back). But what the fuck!? If it ends up lost, this will be a far more expensive cab ride.

Maybe I shouldn't've taken those illicit screen-captures of miss chick-lit... ??? But come on, it was about a middle-aged woman and her friend taking an impromptu vacation to a spa in Scottsdale and it started with word "Crack" as the male masseur at the spa pressed down a little too hard on her aching back. Oh well ... If I've offended you, oh Gods of Mexican Cabs and/or middle-aged writers of chick-lit novels, I solemnly apologize and offer my camera to you as sacrifice for my sins. However, if I could borrow it back for the ramainder of my trip I'd greatly appreciate it.

You'll have to trust me that Mexico City is amazing. It's one of my favorite places on earth. There are no clocks anywhere and it has this amazing humid urban forest feeling. I ate the most amazing sashimi chipotle tostada at a seafood cafe in La Condesa last night. Off to a panaderia for fresh bread and coffee.