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May 16, 2008

Dan Savage Savages Tony Perkins on Gay Marriage

While our public employees in Colorado Springs still don't have access to same-sex partner employee benefits, California takes another step away from us and down the road toward full equality. Someday we'll catch up.

In the meantime, this is fun:

I am about to blow your fucking mind.

You ready? K, let's do this:

It's the trailer for Joss Whedon's new show, Dollhouse, starring (gasp!) Eliza Dushku and (gasp!) Tahmoh "Karl 'Helo' Agathon" Penikett and (gasp!) some other people, one of whom is (gasp!) Amy Acker and none of whom are (boo!) Marc Blucas. Yay!

The premise of the show is pretty rad:

In Dollhouse, Dushku plays a young woman named Echo, a member of a group of people known as "Actives" or "Dolls" who volunteered for the work in the Dollhouse. They give up five years of their lives, and at the end they receive a large sum of money and no memory of anything they did for the Dollhouse. The Dolls have had their personalities wiped clean so they can be imprinted with any number of new personas, including memory, muscle memory, skills, and language, for different assignments. They're then hired out for particular jobs, crimes, fantasies, and occasional good deeds. On missions, Actives are monitored internally (and remotely) by Handlers. In between tasks, they are mind-wiped into a child-like state and live in a futuristic dormitory/laboratory, a hidden facility nicknamed "The Dollhouse". The story follows Echo, who begins, in her mind-wiped state, to become self-aware.

So watch the trailer and stuff. And hey, Joss? I love you so much. Like, deeply. You are my density. But can you please find a font more creative than Papyrus? It's sort of like using Comic Sans for your title. Just my persnickety-do!

Picture_3

Oh, here's a full scene from Dollhouse, where Helo is all, "What the frak?" and Faith's like, "Don't sweat it, B. I'm five by five," and then I poop my pants. Fin.

Would you like to see a tattoo of a dolphin with a tribal tattoo, sitting in a tattered recliner and smoking pot?

Okay.

Awesometattoo

There is no way I could in good conscience not share this with you.

OMG! t.a.T.u is back!

I have fond memories of t.a.T.u, who are perhaps my favorite duo of Russian pop-singing fake lesbian schoolgirls, if only because I would listen to them on tour to annoy my bandmates and once, during a long, hot drive from L.A. to Phoenix, our drummer and I made up bad gangsta-rap lyrics to accompany the t.a.T.u songs, miming the gatt as we went, "Hey, Mister President, bang bang bang! Hey, Mister Ashcroft, bang bang bang!" And so on.

Anyway, t.a.T.u's back and they have a new song called "Белый Плащик" and they both get naked in the video. For real. Enjoy.

Colbert on Dickhead.

Regarding this:

We're number one!

We attended the Gazette''s Best Of party last night and were humbled to surprised to learn that Newspeak was honored with an award, namely "Best Place to See A Risqué Ad." We hereby accept this honor and express heartfelt thanks. We are so pleased to know you are paying attention to our advertising, if not our, er, content.

Oh, and here's the new ad we're doing for the Convention and Visitors Bureau. Mrow!

Sexygog

The Fuzzy Screen of Green Technology

In planning for this trip, Jon and I considered a multitude of technological options involving how to write, edit pictures, and of course, be able to communicate with my worrisome mother.  In the end, as was the 'greenest' and monetarily most sensible option, we decided to eschew the latest in technological marvels and lug along my 5-year old, well-loved 15-inch Mac Powerbook.

We padded it kindly in a soft canvas case, wrapped up in a durable waterproof 'Lifeventure' bag, and made its new home inside the comfortable middle compartment of Jon's carry-on backpack.  And for awhile, it was good.  It provided some entertainment on our lonely nights in a very dead Montevideo, thanks to iTunes movie rental; it has successfully been the middle man in lots of photo editing; it's wireless connection has allowed me to email my mother on all occasions to say, "Hi mom.  Good news: still not dead. Love, Megan."

Anyway, when we arrived at our home stay in Buenos Aires last week, we started noticing a few problems.  The screen started sparkling and wavering like a Britney video for a few days, and then more recently, it has begun fading into complete whiteness, leaving us computer-less and feeling rather unmoored in this great world.  It was then that I remembered one of Apple's recent recalls, and, in particular, a battery recall named on my machine.  I checked out, thanks to another functional computer at our host family's, the web page, where Apple told me my computer serial number was included in those affected, but I would have to call for more information.

So I rang the good people of Apple, all the way from Argentina, where an Australian woman put me on hold for a half an hour while she tried to figure out how my computer's serial number fell under the affected recall, but the actual battery number (which is inside the computer which fall's under the affected recall), does not.  She asked her manager, and came back to me with the very astute observation:  "Your computer is 5 years old."

Now, dear readers, here is exactly where my angry consumer began to mix with my environmental consciousness, and I became a bit fiery.

You see, before we left for this trip, I strolled into the Apple store on Regent street and asked the tech specialists if they could install more memory on my machine, because it was running very slow.  They looked at me, smirked at each other, and said they didn't even make memory for that kind of machine anymore, and I would be better off purchasing a new machine if I wanted it to run better.  After realising they were probably coached to direct me to the sales floor, I rebuttaled and asked them suggestions to slim my computer's waistline. We ended up chucking all our big files on a portable drive, which is besides the point, if only to say that my poor little mac had been rebuffed by the product-pushing bullies at Apple once previously, and now that she was losing her screen, all Apple could do was waste about £60 of my international phone bill and tell me I needed a new machine.

I can accept that my computer is now low on the technological totem pole - or as one person told me, 'a functioning antique' - that lacks built in web cams or super-duper-drives, and I can even admit that having a new machine would perhaps make my life a teeny bit easier, but you know what? She has done me well in the past fives years, and as everything else on her is working admirably, I am woe to trade her in for a sexier new model.

I guess my question is, how such 'green conscious' technological companies like Apple, who say "environmental considerations are an integral part of [their] business practices", can advise their consumers to chuck away big chunks of metal, titanium, plastic and wires every couple years, and upgrade to more, bigger, better ones. Much like the "disposable mobile" crisis, the problem comes with manufacturing products in such a way that they naturally only have a minimal lifespan - often because there is lots of pressure to design, build and release products as fast as they can in such a rapidly paced technological environment.

I have always liked Apple products - sleek design, really consumer friendly, and terribly easy to use - but I guess up until now perhaps I have always had some disposable income and a mindset in which I wanted their latest and greatest - without a second thought towards the one that was headed for the bin.  It was only when we've been considering how to consume less, that we began to mourn the fact that there are very, very few technological products out there that are built for the long haul.

And man, for a company like Apple, who prides itself on fabulous design, that is a big hit that they can't design something that can withstand technological advances, new memory chips or even a few months (with lots of support and padding!) in a backpack.  And there are many more companies out there like them - who push design and top new advances, without a second thought to all the products that people are replacing, or that some consumers might just want their favourite little wonder to last a tad bit longer,

For now, I write on a Powerbook now sutured by half a roll of masking tape, which is balanced on my knee in such a way that the pressure stops the fuzzy music video affect (although the heat from the non-recalled but still ridiculously overcharged battery might be burning a hole in my jeans), and I am leaning over so that the power cord is propped up by my bag and still giving the ol' girl a charge.

I am - as Jon has when he went in to get his 2nd generation iPod fixed three months ago, only to be told they "never fix them", and he should get a new one - going off the idea of the great technological revolution, the wonder of MP3s and super sonic wifi phone machines. I'd rather just keep my moral compass pointed in the right direction; I'd rather be "a functioning antique."

May 15, 2008

An amazing exhibit!



In Segment 150, Springs Culture Cast producer Craig Richardson attends the opening night reception for Life as a Legend: Marilyn Monroe at the Fine Arts Center.

This is What I'm Listening to - Musical Confessions of a Sad, Sappy, Sunnuvabitch

     If I had to provide a visual representation of my life right now, it would be an oscilloscope display with not one, but multiple sine waves on it. Each wave would represent a different facet of my life; work, kids, band, you get the idea. Usually all of the waves are modulating at different frequencies and intensities, meaning that I experience the highs and lows of each at different times. However, right now those waves are in perfect harmony and I am just coming off riding the crest of a peak and looking down the sheer slope and into a trough. Pretty bleak, huh? Just as much as I gravitate towards feel good music when I am down, there are also records that I love to listen to whilst diving head first into that trough and embracing my impending despair. I know I’m emo as hell right now. I love each of these records dearly. Not only for their ability to induce intense mood swings, but also their structure and composition. These are the records I have been using to wallow in my own self pity. Here we go…

Twilight_3        It shouldn’t come as any great surprise that the first place I go here is Glasgow. The Twilight Sad released Fourteen Autumns & Fifteen Winters last year and I really haven’t put it away since. First of all, I love guitar music. This us definitely guitar music, but not how you would think. Most of the time, there really isn’t any discernable melody to the guitar, save for some slide work or a couple notes repeated here and there in the verses. Second, nearly every song has a HUGE wash of guitar noise for the chorus with no singing. Don’t get uptight, there’s singing. James Graham sing-speaks some pretty heart-felt lyrics over these washes with probably the thickest Scottish brogue I’ve ever heard. (Even stronger than Aiden Moffett!) Those lyrics are pretty dark and depressing as they primarily deal with topics of childhood neglect/abuse. These words are delivered in varied ways; from a sweet whisper to a wicked howl, sometimes in the same song. The music is pretty formulaic: quiet/loud/quiet/loud or loud/quiet/loud/quiet or loud/loud/loud/loud. The bass almost carries all of the melody while the guitar just screams over everything. Now that I think about it, I think this record depresses me because I wish I would have though of doing this first. Dammit.

Zidane      Ok. Fuck you Scotland. Fuck you for producing all of my favorite bands. Fuck me for not having the fortune of being born there. Ahem. Sorry.  My favorite band in the world is Mogwai. Don’t make fun of me. In 2006 they scored the music for a documentary about French footballer Zinedine Zidane and released it as Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait. The music is absolutely the most melancholy and utterly depressing record that I own. I love it. Every track just melts my brain.  There are ten songs, but there are 2 different versions of 3 songs. In the case of “Terrific Speech” and “Terrific Speech 2,” the difference is in the lowered intensity of the keyboards and the percussion in the latter. “Black Spider 2” is a subdued reprise of “Black Spider.” My favorite track, Time And A Half,” really harkens back to the Come on Die Young days as the guitars and piano sort of dance off of one another to a plodding pace. I guess what I find most fascinating about the record is that it plays out like a Wagnerian opera. The fact that songs and motifs repeat themselves breathes life into the record and provides me with the perfect soundtrack to my own misery. I have never seen the documentary that the music was created for. I don’t want to. I don’t give a shit about soccer and I didn’t even know who Zidane was until I found out that Mogwai was going to make some music for him. I’m worried that if I do see the film it will change the context in which I view this music. I don’t want it to be Zidane’s music. I want it to be mine. You here me Braithwaite? MINE!

Antics      Interpol's Antics is a heartbreaker for me. It’s my quintessential breakup record and one that holds some special meaning for me; especially song four and if you know me I might have an interesting story for you… Every member of the band brings something great to the mix. I enjoy unconventional vocal styles and Paul Banks definitely falls into that category. Daniel Kessler provides some of the simplest yet beautiful melodies on the guitar. Bassist Carlos Denlger has a very unique style of staccato octave, almost disco-like basslines. And Sam Fogarino is probably one my favorite drummers for never playing beyond what is required of the music. He is a human metronome and has been a tremendous influence in how I have approached the drums lately. I have ascribed meaning to each of the ten tracks on the record that seem to follow the lifecycle of a relationship. Check it out: 1. “Next Exit” – Yeah, it seems like everyone in town knows each other. How about we hang out? 2. “Evil” – Ok. You’re just as fucked up as me, so let’s forget about all that and pretend everything is cool.” 3. “Narc” – Are you done cheating on me yet, bitch? 4. “Take You On A Cruise” – I’m not so bad. I’ll give you the world if you let me. 5. “Slow Hands” – Hey! Look how fucked up I am without you! 6. “Not Even Jail” – Hey! Look what kinds crazy shit I’d do to get you back! 7. “Public Pervert” – I get it now. But how long will it take to get over you? 8. “C’mere” – Not very long apparently. I have transformed my longing for you into lusting for someone new. Commence MySpace stalking! 9. “Length Of Love” – Sorry new sweetie. I know what I want and you’re not it. 10. “A Time To Be Small” – I don’t know what I want anymore…

     Honorable Mention: Sharks Keep Movings/t - I once cried for twenty minutes after listening to “Sailor.” Fuck Minus the Bear. This was Jake Snider’s best band. Yo La TengoSummer Sun – “Little Eyes” reminds me of my youngest daughter and I get homesick when I hear it. Sun Kil MoonTiny Cities – Say what you will about a record of Modest Mouse covers, Mark Kozelek’s version of “Ocean Breathes Salty” is one of the most heart-wrenching songs ever recorded. Now excuse me while I open a vein.

 

An amazing achievement....

I just got this email, and I figured I'd post it here, because just like the New York Times story of the Pentagon insiders spreading military-industrial propaganda on the alphabet channels, all of this will be buried by the mainstream corporate media. As I've stated repeatedly on this blog, Media Reform is an issue of perhaps the greatest importance in our country, because without the free exercise of the First Amendment, all other issues suffer. You can't stand up to corporate oppression if corporations have you bound and gagged. Even today I was on the phone to Allard and Salazar, demanding action. And we'll be at the National Conference for Media Reform in June -- because it's time to take back our airwaves!

Just moments ago, by a near-unanimous vote, the Senate stood up to Big Media. They voted to throw out the FCC decision to let the largest media companies swallow up even more local media.

This is simply an astounding victory, and it would not have happened without the massive grassroots effort by you and thousands of others who called their senators, sent more than a quarter million letters, posted thousands of pictures and stories on StopBigMedia.com, and testified at public hearings held by the FCC.

It was your dedication that made today's Senate win possible.

Today was a huge step forward, but there is still much to do. The fight against the FCC now moves to the House, where our elected representatives need to hear from us.

President Bush has promised that he will try to veto this bill. But tonight the Senate and the American people have spoken with one voice. This historic vote sends a clear message that the only people who support more media consolidation are Big Media lobbyists and the White House.

We are in this struggle to bring more minority ownership, diverse perspectives and independent voices to the media. We need to make media consolidation an election-year issue. And we need to start talking about how to break up the giant conglomerates.

Corporate news today -- with its propaganda pundits, horse-race election coverage, and celebrity gossip -- undermines our democracy. We must continue to speak out and demand that the public airwaves be used to actually serve the public.

In just three weeks, thousands of people will be gathering together in Minnesota to build the movement for better media. You can join them at the National Conference for Media Reform, just visit www.freepress.net/conference.

For today, know that you played a key role in the fight for better media for all.

Thank you,

Josh Silver
Executive Director
Free Press Action Fund

Holy shit!

I posted a two-or-so-minute segment of this a few months ago (which I can't seem to find in the blog archives) and had no idea it was part of a larger whole. For those of you who didn't see the first segment, this is a stop-motion graf animation project in Buenos Aires called, I think, Muto. This is absolutely incredible in its scope. Like, wow.


MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Perhaps our South American correspondent, who is in Buenos Aires right this instant, could post some examples of graf art she's seen there? Hmmmm?

Um. Yes.

Did I find these at Cracked? Yes. Does that make me an eleven-year-old boy? Yes. No further questions.

Blemm2

Blemm1

More here. You know you want to check.

Dickhead of the Year Award

For those of you who have not yet seen this recently surfaced Bill O'Reilly video, you're in for a real treat! There's nothing funnier than watching a dude crap his pants over nothing.

All hail Tiger! And also Cracker!

I'm officially a fan of the newest Gillette commercial—and yes, that is probably the weirdest thing I've ever written. My reason for loving it is simply that it uses a rocking song, Cracker's "The World Is Mine." The song is basically about the fleeting nature of fame, and here you have the most famous athletes in the world, looking suave and removing hair from their faces. Is the commercial a commentary on the shelf life of celebrity? The futility of iconism? Or did they just use the song because it kicks ass and provides a nice backdrop for people kicking the Earth?

There is nothing that is not funny about this.

Lostcat

Yes, it's made the 'Nets rounds already, but gives me a deep belly laugh every time I see it: "Heh-heh. Giggle giggle." That's what I sound like.

A catchy song about a rideable robot to help take your mind off the fact that you will soon have no reproductive freedom.

This is an ad for Ringbo, a Korean robot that children can ride. Um. Yes.

And courtesy of Geekologie, here are the lyrics. Sing along!

We are down we're crazy fools
Every day at school
Teachers here, teachers there
Books and books they're everywhere!
Come on boys we need to dance
We have got a good chance
Lay your problems on the floor
Clap your hands and sing once more!

Everybody let's go to the game
We can dance there
Dance and eat ice cream!
Everybody dancing all night long
Try to do it
Sing a happy song!

Music dancing in the night
We can get so high
For no reason, no don't stop
Now's the time to take it to the top
It's a sweet and happy song
Sing all night long
Lay your problems on the floor
Clap your hands and sing once more

Everybody let's go to the game
We can dance there
Dance and eat an ice cream!
Everybody dancing all night long
Try to do it
Sing a happy song!

Time to dance it's time to sing
Sing a happy song (laugh)
A happy song!
Yo yo yo!

Let's go!
Let's go boys!
Come with me and sing!
(A happy song)

US outta my uterus!

If I had a uterus, I would totally be saying that all the time. Those of you with them, however, should head over to Colorado Confidential and check out Wendy Norris' piece on the crazy new ballot initiative the fundotards are trying to push through. To wit:

Be it Enacted by the People of the State of Colorado: SECTION 1. Article II of the constitution of the state of Colorado is amended BY THE ADDITION OF A NEW SECTION to read:

Section 31. Person defined. As used in sections 3, 6, and 25 of Article II of the state constitution, the terms "person" or "persons"
shall include any human being from the moment of fertilization.

As Norris notes, this is being presented as a states' rights issue, but it's quite possibly the most insidious thing the antichoice crowd could push through. And who knows if the issue, if brought to ballot, would ever pass, but you can bet that the singleminded focus of these fundo-crazies will ensure that there's a ton of money behind it.

It also raises some fun hypothetical issues. Like, say, miscarriage. Can a woman who miscarries be tried for manslaughter for failing to provide a nourishing environment for the full-fledged human being living within her? What about in vitro fertilization? This has the possibility of catalyzing a massive, massive clusterfuck of definition—which is just what the fundotards want.

But hey, as I've said before, I think their influence is waning, as the dogmatic indefatigability of the evangelicals becomes more diffuse. It's likely this won't pass. But what if it does?

Seriously, this is all I've got.

From today's 'Zette:

Picture_3

More guman than guman?

Yeah, I know it's lame. But really, what else is there to talk about? Edwards showing great courage and incredible resolve by waiting until the entire race is over to endorse Obama? Cimarron bridge opening late? The assy, assy weather? I just don't know anymore.

Anyway, enjoy this scary but admitted hoax video of a ghost in an Indonesian hotel elevator. Woooo!

May 14, 2008

Brilliant stuff

Takaras_csi_drawing_sm_2
This is by Takara. She's 14 and super-retarded*. But I like her.

In case you have difficulty following the dramatic events, I'll provide a transcription:

First Official-looking Person: "CSI:CSI! I'm Grissom!"

Second Official-looking Person: "CSI:NY! I'm Mac!"

Third Official-looking Person: "CSI:MIAMI! I'm Horatio!"

Lion: "I'MA LION!"

Inquisitive Kid: "Who killed her?"

Freaked-out Kid: "DEAD PERSON!"

[Dead Girl says nothing. Bleeds out.]



* By retarded, I mean "gifted."

Farewell Reading at Edifice Gallery Tomorrow Night

Just a reminder that Marina and I will be reading tomorrow night at Edifice Gallery as part of the the Third Thursday poetry night. I'm going to read a few poems from my latest, In the City of Word People, and the first chapter of my novel set in Colorado Springs ...


The event begins at 7:30 p.m. and usually goes until 10:30 or so. Hope to see you there.

May 13, 2008

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the West Virginia electorate.

I'm sure Clinton is immensely proud of her certain win in such an enlightened state.

"Undecided voter Wanda Gibson is less than excited about both Clinton and Obama, but she actually fears Obama, because he's black."

How to destroy the Earth.

Scorpio_with_bont

I recently and with great delight read Austin Grossman's novel Soon I Will Be Invincible, a fantastic read that follows both a supervillain and a newly-branded hero. I can't recommend it highly enough—it turns conventional superhero storytelling on its head and injects a great deal of wit and pathos into what can sometimes be a terribly two-dimensional world. (My favorite line, from the protagonist/villain of the book, Dr. Impossible: "You just keep going. You just keep trying to take over the world.")

Anyway, because I liked that so much, it follows that I'd enjoy QNTM.org's quite scientific take on how you could actually destroy the Earth. (What? You thought this post's threat was an idle one?). QNTM has an excellent, if speculative, take on destroying our planet, from antimatter:

You will need: An entire planet Earth made from antimatter

Antimatter - the most explosive substance possible - can be manufactured in small quantities using any large particle accelerator, but this will take preposterous amounts of time to produce the required amounts. If you can create the appropriate machinery, it may be possible to find or scrape together an approximately Earth-sized chunk of rock and simply to "flip" it all through a fourth spacial dimension, turning it all to antimatter at once.

to tidal forces:

You will need: Earthmoving equipment.

Method: When something (like a planet) orbits something else (like the Sun), the closer in it is, the faster it orbits. Mercury, the closest planet to the Sun, moves faster along its path than Earth, which in turn moves faster than Neptune, the furthest planet.

Now, if you move Earth close enough to the Sun, you'll find that it's close enough that the side of the Earth facing the Sun wants to orbit the Sun faster than the side pointing away from it. That causes a strain. Move Earth close enough, within an imaginary boundary called the Roche Limit, and the strain will be great enough to literally tear the planet Earth apart. It'll form one or more rings, much like the rings around Saturn (in fact this may be exactly where Saturn's rings came from). So our method? Move the Earth to within the Sun's Roche limit. Or, better, move it out, to Jupiter.

Helpful, no? I tell you, the Earth will soon tremble beneath my feet!

(via Blogtown PDX.)

It is snowing.

Seriously. Fuck that. I'm going to kick the Earth's ass.

The only thing that can possibly cheer me up is Donnie Davies' "The Bible Says," which is a blast from the totally far-flung past of last year. (To get caught up on the Donnie Davies thing, check here.)

Ungh. That's the stuff. I was wondering what's become of Donnie/Joel Oglesby, but it looks like his 15 minutes (or 96 hours, as it were) of internet fame are completely over, although he did play SXSW last year. The Wikipedia entry on Davies is hopelessly incomplete and still considers the whole thing to be under contention as far as being a fraud—and there's no mention of Oglesby at all. I want a follow-up!

And just because I can, I'm reposting this:

Godhatescags

Oh, and what the hell, this too:

Wikipedia

And miracle of miracles, my post made it stop snowing!

Probably the best thing to ever have happened to our city.

As the 'Zette reported yesterday, a local woman named Vanessa Warren was on American Gladiators last night. Yesss! Finally, something to put us on the map! Although it is a shame that Warren, being a girl and all, did not get to face off against this guy:

Wolf

AWOOOOOOOO!

Um. Ahem. So, did anybody watch it? How did Warren fare? I could go over to NBC and watch the whole episode, but my doctor recommended that I not look at too many muscles. Okay, so it wasn't my doctor, it was my Haggard-style gay rehabilitation coach. Awwwwooooooo!

In service of the weather being so goddamn awful.

Seriously, it could only get assier out if it started sleeting. Come on! It's May!

So here's my grandmama's recipe for борщ, or at least one that I found online and can pretend belong to my grandmama, who didn't speak Russian anyway.

8 cups beef broth
1 pound slice of meaty bone-in beef shank
1 large onion, peeled, quartered
4 large beets, peeled, chopped
4 carrots, peeled, chopped
1 large russet potato, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
2 cups thinly sliced cabbage
3/4 cup chopped fresh dill
3 Tbsp red wine vinegar
1 cup sour cream
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Bring 4 cups of the beef broth, the beef shank, and onion to boil in large pot. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer until meat is tender, about 1 hour 30 minutes.

2. Transfer meat to work surface; trim fat, sinew and bone and discard. Chop meat; cover and chill. Cool broth slightly. Chill in pot until cold, at least 4 hours and up to 1 day.

3. Spoon fat from top of chilled broth and discard. Add remaining 4 cups broth, beets, carrots, and potato; bring to boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer until vegetables are tender, about 30 minutes.

4. Stir in meat, cabbage and 1/2 cup dill; cook until cabbage is tender, about 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Stir in vinegar.

Ladle soup into bowls. Top with sour cream and remaining 1/4 cup dill.

Serves 6.

Borscht1

May 12, 2008

Yes, yes. I'm sure you've seen it already.

But those of you who totally lost the endless competition that is the internet by not already seeing it might enjoy reading THINGS YOUNGER THAN REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE (OH, AND DID I FORGET TO MENTION “WAR HERO”?) JOHN MCCAIN. Some examples of things that are in fact younger than John McCain:

The AARP.

Mount Rushmore.

Superman.

Plutonium.

The ballpoint pen.

Alaska & Hawaii.

Look both ways—AT DANGER!

While KOAA was breaking the John Newsome scandal, KRDO shows us that their news can still be sensationalist and silly, when they investigated yesterday—and I am so not making this up—whether crossing the road is dangerous.

COLORADO SPRINGS - Crosswalks are supposed to be obvious, but many wonder if crosswalk signs are enough to warn drivers and pedestrians.

In November, a Colorado College student was hit crossing a crosswalk near campus. Three months later, in March, a Palmer High School teacher was hit crossing in a downtown Colorado Springs crosswalk.

NEWSCHANNEL 13 wants to know why your safety is at risk when crossing the road.

"It's really scary trying to get across," one Colorado College student says.

We've definitely discussed this topic here before. But I'm so very glad that NEWSCHANNEL 13 is devoting their energies to an investigative report.

You know what? I'm going to conduct my own investigative report right now. Be right back.

The results: I just went out and crossed the road four times, from the southwest corner of Bijou and Tejon to the southeast corner, to the northeast corner, to the northwest and finally back to the southwest. I was not hit by a car once. This is probably because I did not rocket across the road on my longboard, but instead waited for the walk signs. While I waited, I sat in the sun and smoked a cigarette (yes, I'm smoking again). It was actually pretty nice. The niceness was compounded by the not getting hit by cars, which I was able to do by paying attention to my surroundings.

So, the verdict: Is crossing the road dangerous? Yes, very. Even though I was not hit by a car, it doesn't mean that you won't be. The important thing is that you're afraid of everything, all the time, and that you tune in to NEWSCHANNEL 13 every night for new things to be afraid of. Good night, and good luck.

In the service of the weather being so goddamn delightful.

It is gorgeous out right now, which makes me want to sit outside and drink one of two things: margaritas or sangria. And, since margaritas are for suckers, here's a recipe for sangria that I'm totally making up on the spot—off the top of my dome, ya'll!

The beauty of sangria is that it can pretty much be anything you want to be as long as it's reddish. So let's start with a bottle of cheap red wine. K? Then, let's add a shitload of chopped-up fruit—say, oranges, pears and, what the hell, some berries, like raspberries or strawberries. Were we making this later in the summer, we would most definitely use Palisade peaches, which technically makes our drink azurra, but what the eff, right? It's summer, and we won't be bound by your rules, Dad.

Anyway, you need some sweetener there, so let's add some orange juice. And since most sangrias should contain some sort of extra spirit, usually a liqueur, let's just toss in some peach schnapps, or if you're feeling wacky, some Chambord. Then let's throw everything in the fridge and let it mix for a while. Then, we pull it out and add some soda water, or if you really like the sweet, some 7-Up, pour over ice and serve, garnishing with extra fresh-cut fruit.

Then we sit on a patio and drink it and eventually get sunburned and meet some cute girl who comments on our sunburn and get a crush and eventually have a summer fling which, yes, ends badly, but those perfumed nights in June and July were, we have to admit, worth the pain they ultimately caused. And that's summer.

Sangria

Friday's BSG

(Spoilers throughout, duh.)

Some points:

Enjoyed Roslin's fear about her diminishing mental faculties and Hot Evil Tori. My only wish would be that Annoying Emo Bang Callie is revealed as a Cylon so that Hot Evil Tori can kill her in every single episode. It could be a spinoff: Hot Evil Tori Dispatches Annoying Emo Bang Callie In Creative New Ways: The Series. Viewers could call in and vote! It'd be like the American Idol of killing Callie!

Loved, loved, loved the continuation of the Cylon civil war and the vindication that Starbuck was kinda-sorta right all along. See humans try to fly a Basestar! And you know, it occurred to me that Hybrids are essentially just River Tam in goo. And yes, that Six/Six scene was gratuitous fanboy heaven. Mmmmm. Bejeezus. But damn—that was some bloody stuff. And did anyone else think that the whole, "You are a harbinger of death, Kara Thrace" thing was redolent of this? (Warning: BAD fanvid there. Oh, and while you're at it, here is proof that someone out there is nerdier than me.)

However, I did disagree with making President Roslin into Corrado Soprano:

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Hey, it's my annual pro-Wilber post!

Personally, I can't wait until the Uncle Wilber Fountain opens. Warm weather goes hand in hand in my mind with the dulcet tuba tones creeping in my open office windows. No matter what your opinion of Wilber is as art, it's the most effective community-building tool we have downtown—and it doesn't hurt that Bob Tudor's soundtrack is catchy and gleeful and just plain fun. Here's the song that the fountain opens up with every morning, and if you look under Wilber, you can see my grinning face pressed against the windows of my office. (In a non-creepy way.)